On The Way To Marriage

Dear Lord,

Lord, forgive me. It was my fault. I led him on. He who has been so good and respectful of me. Who only thinks about my interest. He loves and he loves me so much.

Forgive me. Lord, he is a good man. He is loving and he is caring. All I want is to be with him.

Yet, he does not have yet much money. But You will bless him with all his abilities and the things that he can do. Help me to help him. Help me Lord, please.

Lord, is this the right time to get married?

Help me to answer these questions with wisdom and clarity coming from You.

1. Are you ready to give your life away?

The answer: I am thinking that I may not be able to watch the musicals that I can watch in a heartbeat, buy the things I want to buy among others. I will just think of his interest and the things that will benefit him. Lord, will you bless me this way? It is not all about me anymore, but there will always be someone I will consider before buying somethings or doing something. I will also forget my own family if we will be married because being together and sharing our lives together is what marriage is all about. To bless another person. Lord, You bless me with more because You want me to bless others more. Being married will help me deal and come to terms with my own selfishness. Yes Lord. I am ready.

2.  Do you have both parents' blessing?

Yes. They both have and in fact have been pushing us to get married as soon as possible for us to have our own children. Yes, in this area though sometimes I feel like my father does not approve of him. But it is just according to his own whims and selfishness. But there's really no problem in this area.

3. Is there more to your relationship than physical attraction/affection?

To this I have to answer other sub questions:
a. Do you see eye to eye on spiritual matters?
Yes. He is more like my spiritual leader. He teaches me to go back to God whenever I would have a problem. He leads me to the Lord. He is like that. He is really like that. He is more faithful than I am actually. 
b. Do you enjoy each other's company? 
Yes, I do. Spending time with him is one of the loveliest times in my life. I don't get bored. He teaches me and tells me stories about life, his life and everything he has gone through. Though I am bothered at times for he does not ask too much about mine. But you see, we had different circles and views before we met. He did not finish college, I am on my way to finishing my master's so in this area we don't meet. But we can talk about money matters, how to start a business, rearing children and other essential topics about life and how to live it.
c. Are you challenged by the other person?
My cooking and homemaking skills. He's really a genius at them. Hehehehe...
d. Do you trust them fully with your heart? 
Yes. Though when it comes to providing for all my needs and some wants, I cannot. You know, I earn more than he does. But God will deal with us in this area. I know he will not hurt me nor my pride. He will be good to me. 
e. Are they safe? 
Yes. He is a very safe and loving person.
f. Are you in the same orbit about future expectations?
Yes. Both of us would like to have our own business someday. We are going to work on that.
g.Do they have discipline?
Yes. Especially when it comes to finances. He is such a cheapskate sometimes. But that's one strong area he has that I am a bit weak at.

4. Is the timing right?
Yes. I am regular in my job, he is on his way and he is in fact praying for his appraisal in his work. He has a job though not really high paying but he really has a job and he can somehow provide for me but I will help him. I will be his partner.

5. Would you marry this person if he/she never changed?
Yes. He is not perfect, so am I. As long as he respects me and loves me and draws me towards God then we can sort out our differences and talk about things so we can deal with them fairly and effectively. All by God's grace.

Lord, I am sorry for those times that I led him to commit sin. Those compromises that led us to go astray from You. Lord, this time that we have should be a time to prepare so that we can be together and we can be a blessing to each other.

I love him Father and indeed loving is not a feeling but actually an action and a choice.

Forgive me Lord. Forgive us and thank You so much.

Amen.

Money Matters

Dear Lord,

I am worried right now. Worried about his attitude regarding money. He does not keep his promises when it comes to paying his debts which is not a good attitude of course. I don't know. I think I should talk to him about that because maybe that's the reason why You are not blessing him that much.

I still needed to remind him about his debt. Sometimes I feel like I need to shoulder other expenses for the both of us. It feels like I need to really share with him all the expenses. Is this the right thing?

He has a lower salary compared to mine. I don't know.

Can I trust him when it comes to our wedding expenses? Lord, please give me wisdom on this. Do I need to talk to him about it? How?

Lord, I will wait until December 28 if he would keep his word and pay me the money he owes me. Then I will start talking with him regarding my concerns. Lord, please give me wisdom. Please give us wisdom. Amen.

Becoming Abusive

Dear Lord,

I have been abusing my boyfriend. He has been enduring my mood swings, my threats and everything for the past four months already.

I always wanted him to tell me where he is and what he is doing. I sometimes verbally abuse him and do things that a christian woman should not do.

Forgive me for not honoring my fiance. Forgive me if I have become so controlling and so abusive to him.

Lord, help me to bless him. And love him truly. Help me.

My bad treatment of him is rooted from the abuses I have had in the past. From the abandonment that I experienced from my own father to the sexual abuses I experienced from my grandfathers and the emotionally and sexually abusive relationships I had in the past. Lord, help me to forgive those people so that I can enjoy my relationship now.

With a man who lacks much finances but who has a big heart and soul.

Lord, I want to become a blessing to him and to our future family together. Help me. Help me overcome myself.

Lord, may You send someone who can help me with my issues. I want to become vulnerable and soft. I want to trust You with all my heart and I also want to trust him.

Lord, reveal the other areas in me that You need to cut.

I thought that giving him sexual favors will make him happy for that was what I believed deep inside me. For some men in my life before would ask for those favors in exchange for the seemingly love and affection I wanted from them. Things that I scarcely received from my own father.

I trusted men but they betrayed me. My own father abandoned me when I was young. Though he would come home from time to time still he feels so distant from me. The last closest encounter I had with him was when I was six years old. Then that was it.

I looked for love from the wrong places. I trusted my grandfathers before to take care of me but then they destroyed my trust and abused my innocent mind by molesting me sexually. I did not like it at first but then I felt the wrong pleasures those abuses gave me. That is why right now I am having a wrong view on sex and love. Add to that the wrong relationships I had in the past where they would also touched my body in the wrong way, I would simply give in because I was afraid of losing their love and affection that actually were lies only.\

Then  I was blamed by my own mother. When I suffered those abuses I was blamed. I have been suffering from this in silence. And now that I am with a good man, I just can't seem to really dig his love for me for I have become accustomed with the wrong kind of treatment already.

Lord, I know You can heal me. I don't want to get married having these baggage in me because I want to become a blessing to my husband and my future family. Lord, help me to fully forgive those people and to just move on and focus what I have right now.

Lord, only You can heal me. My abusive tendencies. Help me to find a good counselor Lord who can help me with my struggles. Help me Lord.

Thank You Father. Thank You for I am on my path to freedom because of You.

Amen.

Getting Married...Soon

Dear Lord,

Forgive me. Forgive me if I have been defrauding him. If I have been acting out with all the wrong desires and motives with him.

Lord, mine has been a selfish love. This is not the love that You called us to have for our brothers and sisters in You. This one is selfish. Forgive me.

Lord, I decided i will just marry him. Not because I am settling but I think he's the one for me, the One You have given me. I will treasure him. But we have no budget when we get married. Please provide for us and teach us the way.

Lord, thank You for those articles. They opened my mind.

Indeed, it is really better to get married than to burn with so much lust and passion.

Thank You Father. Amen.

And Still Forgive

Dear Lord,

Lord, I am still feeling this hate towards my head teacher. Lord, even if she's telling the truth still she should have talked to me and told me right on my face what was wrong with me though I needed not to be told. It just pained me a lot to know that a person like her, one that I admired and looked up to, one who I thought was a matured christian failed me. A lot.

I don't know Father how will I ever talk to her again. I don't know if I can still look at her without feeling any coldness nor hate towards her. Yet Lord I must forgive and I will forgive.

I will not let her attitude nor what she did affect my work. Instead I will use what she did to me to reinvent myself and to become more responsible as regards my career. I cannot blame others if I am experiencing a fall downward. Yet I can still pick myself up by Your grace and Your mercy.

Lord, please help me to forgive. To forgive with all my heart and mind. To just let go of what happened and learn to trust You more. To believe that You have something better, something good in mind for me. One that You have always wanted me to do and to have.

Father help me as I go through this phase. Help me as I go about my life right now. Lord, thank You for giving me him for making him love for who I am and for being so patient with me. Help me Father to become more patient and to just let him grow and improve in life. Lord, I have realized last night that I actually have the power to make or break him. Lord, help me to use my God-given power to help him, to build him up and to uplift him.

Lord, indeed I am facing life right now. It is giving me a lot of "educational" experiences. Yet Lord, in a ll of these I must say that I should and will learn to trust You with all my heart and soul. To learn to trust other people and to look at the brighter side of this world. I am praying Lord for those people I heard who were not having the best times of their lives right now. Those who were hurting because of betrayal, because of infidelity, because of poverty. Help them Lord and may they come to know You and accept You in their lives. May they come to see You Father move in their lives.

Lord, thank You. Thank You for Your provisions, thank You for You are giving me what I need and I still have more. Thank You so much Father. Amen.

Trusting You

Dear Lord,

Lord, You know the fears that I have right now. You know how I fear that I might be with the wrong person, that he might just be taking advantage of me, that my agent my double-cross me. Lord, I have these fears in me.

Yet Lord, thank You for You are my Father. Forgive me for my unbelief. Forgive me yesterday for giving the devil the foothold again, for giving in to the lust of my flesh because I wanted to feel pleasure because I was not feeling well again. Lord, help me to change that habit of mine and help me that whenever there's something that troubles me I will just trust in You and seek wisdom from You.

Lord, I still have doubts as regards my relationship with my fiance. I cannot just trust him because Lord I have lived in doubt, my mother who has been with me has actually sown fear in my heart that's why I have difficulty trusting other people. Not to mention that I have lived my life without my father most of the time and I was taken advantage by some men I trusted all my life. That' why now that I have a man of my own, I am having difficulty trusting him. Yet I forgot that it should be You that I will trust with all my heart (Proverbs 3:5). Lord, yes I will believe on people, I will believe in my fiance's kindness and love for me but in everything I will just place my trust in You. My whole trust.

Lord, as regards the house that I bought, I am also praying for protection as regards the people I am dealing with. Lord, I commit them to You, I surrender them to You. I will place them in Your hands. You're the only One who I can trust with all my heart not other people, not anyone else.

Lord, thank You so much. Thank You for during this dark hour of my soul, I am learning to run to You and to trust You more. Thank You for Your promises. All I need is to believe. To believe You and to trust You with all my heart. Lord, just please give me the wisdom as I make my transaction with those people, as I continue my relationship with my fiance. Thank You Father. Lord, if they are not the right people, help me to see in right away so I may not have any transactions with them anymore. Thank You very much Father God. Amen

My Inner Circle

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You so much for this wonderful day again. Thank You that I am still here and I am gifted with another day to worship You and to be blessed by You.

Lord, those ladies I called my friends. Lord, I guess I really need to avoid them gradually. Not because I don't like them anymore but I guess they are not doing me any good anymore. Yes, I admit I may have committed a lot of mistakes, I may have done tons of wrongdoings in the past but Lord, I am not perfect and only by Your grace I will be.

I am just tired of saying bad things behind people's back, to judge others and to laugh at the shortcomings of others. I am tired of being told of what to do and how should I handle my life as if I don't have a mind of my own. I am tired Lord. So tired. I am tired of those crass and morally improper jokes, I am tired of what other people are saying about me. I am tired Lord. Very tired.

Is this Your way for me to avoid them? Most probably I will be persecuted because of my actions. Yet Lord, please give me the grace to really stand. To stand on my ground and conviction. To really choose You instead of this world even if it means that I might be alone sometimes.

For You will be with me. You will be with me. All I want is to be just with You Father and Your people. Please give me the wisdom and understanding Lord in everything that I do.

Lord, is getting a house there in Bucandala the right decision for us? We will be closer to his christian friends and we can start our lives anew there. Lord, whatever it is, if it is Your will then it will be done.

Thank You so much Father God. Thank You for Your grace and faithfulness. Thank You for Your love Father God.

Lord, since I am going to lose eventually those people, Lord I am praying for a new set of friends who will be good influences to me. I want to have a good, more matured and Jesus and Bible-believing christian friends. Those people who will help us to get closer to You. I am praying for those people to come into my life Father God.

As regards the transportation, Father I am praying that there will be public utility vehicles there and not tricycles. I am scared Lord of riding the tricycles knowing those bad things that happened just barely a month ago. Lord, I am praying that You kindly move in that area and may they approve of PUJ's there. I will trust in Your grace. Or better yet if You would provide for a vehicle for us Father God.

Thank You so much Lord God. Thank You for everything that You have done. And may I also understand the words that You are going to say and also thank You for the blessing that You gave my fiance. Thank You so much. Amen.

Thoughts and Actions

¹⁴ A man is tempted to do wrong when he lets himself be led by what his bad thoughts tell him to do. ¹⁵ When he does what his bad thoughts tell him to do, he sins. When sin completes its work, it brings death.
James 1:14-15 NLV

Dear Lord,

Lord, forgive me. This is really true. The bad thoughts in my mind have been the reason why I have kept on committing sinful acts and behavior. Forgive me, Father God. Forgive me. 

Lord, please cleanse my mind. Lord, help me not to meditate much on sinful acts, on sinful words and behavior. Help me not to equate love to sex. Help me to just find and only find my joy, my real joy from You not from other people nor things. Help me Father. I need Your grace, Your grace abounding.

Lord, help me not to be overcome by my sinful mind. Renew my mind Lord God. Renew my mind Father. Help me Lord to glorify You and to honor You in everything that I do and of course everything that I think. Father, please. 

⁸ Christian brothers, keep your minds thinking about whatever is true, whatever is respected, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever can be loved, and whatever is well thought of. If there is anything good and worth giving thanks for, think about these things. ⁹ Keep on doing all the things you learned and received and heard from me. Do the things you saw me do. Then the God Who gives peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 NLV

Help me Father to meditate on these things. Things that are true, respected, right, pure, can be loved and well thought of. Those that are good and worth giving thanks for. Help me Lord God to meditate on these things in Jesus' Name always. Whatever pleases You, help me to meditate on them. I know Lord that there are many negative and bad things that are in my mind but Lord You will give me the grace and the power to throw them away, in Jesus' Name.

Father, thank You so much for Your Word. Thank You so much for You care enough for me to guide me and to show me the right direction. Thank You Father God. Amen.

BEE

Still Anxious

Dear Lord,

Lord, right now I am still feeling anxious about a lot of things in my life. About the people around me, about the life I am going to have a year from now.

Lord forgive me for being unfaithful. I have lots of things in mind like I have this feeling that You will not bless me because I have been a bad daughter, I have been a bad child to my parents. Forgive me Lord. I still cannot forgive myself for what I did.

Then there are those people I call my friends. Lord, I am still struggling with my relationship with them. Lord, I think they have not been good influences in my life anymore. I think I have not been using my own judgment and the wisdom You gave me as regards my dealing with them. Lord, what do I do? I still want to be good to them but I want to slowly separate myself from them for they have not been helping me at all anymore.

I have started to say bad words again, to bad mouth other people behind my back, to say things that a true and real child of You will never say. My behavior has changed a lot.

Also, I think my mother who has always been an angry and bitter woman has influenced me a lot in a negative way. Lord, what do I do? I feel like I am a broken jar, so shattered into pieces.

Then there's the house that we want to buy. Lord, I really want to have our own house together. My fiance and I. Yet, the possibilities around in relation to our salary seem to be so bleak already. Yet, Lord I will still pray that You will give us what we need in Your own time.

Lord, I am also praying for our relationship. May we be in the path of purity beginning today. Forgive us if we had been so impure in our relationship. Forgive us Father God. Forgive us.

Lord, I could never tell what the future will bring. The possibilities. I could never know the things that could happen in the long run. All I know is I should trust You. Should fully trust You and Your provision. Though the odds around me, the concrete things that surround me seem to be so hopeless. Yet, I will still trust in You.

Give us wisdom Lord. Give us the grace Lord and the provision. I will put my trust in You. You will be in control of everything. Thank You Father God. Amen.

BEE

Separation: Necessary?

Dear Lord,

You know how I feel right now. You know how stressed and sad I am right now.

I feel so alone.

Lord, I am trying to avoid my friends now for they are not being good influences in my life. With them, I have compromised my sexual purity and integrity by just overlooking their green jokes, even laughed with them and worst started the jokes with them. I have also started to bad mouth other people by just being with them.

I am tired. And even I was not spared from being criticized and bad-mouthed behind my back. Lord, are they real friends or what?

I do not want to listen to them anymore. I do not want to share my stories with them anymore. I have learned my lesson the hard way and it is indeed very hard.

Lord, I am also praying for the house. Lord, I am crying out to You, please provide for us, for a house where we can live, where my future husband and I will share our lives together. I am still praying for that Lord. I am begging You in Jesus' name.

Lord, what do I do now? What do I do with those relationships I have already established? Do I just throw them away, set them aside because actually they are not helping me at all?

The people who will use your shortcomings and mistakes against you, who will judge you and will ostracized you just because you don't fit their mold anymore?

I am tired of this Lord. I will still be friendly to them, be good to them but I will slowly separate myself from them. I will get on with my life, move on and just grow into the person that You have always intended me to be.

Thank You Father. Amen.

Real Friends or What?

¹⁷ With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. ¹⁸ Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. ¹⁹ They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

Ephesians 4:17-19 NLT

Dear Lord,

I am thinking right now. My friends. Or so-called ones. I don't know. I think the reason why I am like this now, why am I already compromising is because I have been surrounded by people who more or less subtly affect my thinking and behavior.

Lord, sadly I have more unbeliever friends than godly ones. I cannot even establish a good, christian relationship with other women. Help me Lord. Help me, help us Father.

My friends have been influencing my thinking for how many times already. i have learned to compromise my virtues and most especially my promise of purity with my future husband. Even my relationship with him becomes strained each time my friends would be involved. 

Help me Father God. Help me to change my attitude, my life and my relationship with them. Is it okay to avoid them from time to time and not to be close to them the way I used to? Lord, even You Father Jesus had Your own circle of friends, Your inner circle that uplifted You as You did the same.

Lord, show me those people whom should I belong to in the first place. The people who can be real blessings to me, who can guide me towards You. Father God, thank You so much.

Thank You for showing me this area. That the people around me have big influence to me in the many areas of my life.

Thank You Father God. Amen.

Unfounded Anger

Dear Lord,

Now I understand why I am angry with my father. It is because of the anger my mother has for him and she just wants us to feel the same way towards him.

Lord, my father cannot love me perfectly but I believe he loves me in the way he knows how. It is just that maybe he has not been given the value and appreciation he longs for us to give him.

Father, my mother has her issues as well. Both of them. Both of them are wounded people who are still yet to be healed by You. But Lord, I thank You for You have been so gracious and kind to me to pick me up again, help me get up and stand. Help me not to hate myself.

Father, my family is really dysfunctional. I want to fully let go of the hate and anger I have for my father and just please help me to have a forgiving and loving heart. A heart that is patient and kind and keeps no records of wrongs.

Jesus, thank You so much. Thank You for picking me up again. Help me to put more of my trust and my love and devotion to You. Thank You for Your word. Thank You.

Indeed, You are the only One who can truly satisfy my heart and give me the love I really do not deserve. But You love me still. Thank You Father God. Amen.

Deep Hurts Unraveled

Dear Lord,

I am asking for Your forgiveness and for Your healing. I have deep-seated anger inside me towards my own father and my mother though I cannot admit it.

I am angry with my father because of his abandonment, his weakness and his absence in my life for many years. I miss those days when I would still be on his shoulders, he would carry me and he would be with me. But of course, he had to leave for many times.

Then my mother. Of course she has her issues about him and she is letting me be mad at him when in fact she has to protect him especially from us, his children. Lord, I feel so wounded, so down right now.

I have become so disrespectful and so unloving towards them, towards my own father. Forgive me. Even the man I am with right now is being victimized by my own attitude and behavior.

I think I am loving him, looking up to him like he is my father, not the man I really want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I easily get mad at him for he cannot be the father I have been longing to have. But he is a good man. He loves me in the best ways that he can.

Father, help me to come to terms with my feelings. Help me to forgive my father and my mother fully. Help me to trust my fiance and love him for the man that he is. Heal my heart and help me towards the road to forgiveness.

I feel ashamed. I feel guilty about my behavior. I feel ashamed for my actions. Forgive me. Forgive me and heal me from these hurts so I can also love fully and with full trust.

I believe there's nothing that You cannot do or heal. I am praying for healing and for guidance. I am asking for forgiveness. Help me. Help me Lord. Please. Amen.

Still in Doubt

Dear Lord,

Lord, You know my thoughts right now. You know how doubtful I am specially with how the things are going between the two of us.

I don't know but it feels like there will come a time that I will be the one who will shoulder everything and will provide for the bigger needs that we may have.

I don't know. Something inside me says to not push through with our plans. With all that is happening. Is it just me? Lord, I don't know.

Lord, what do I do? Sometimes, I feel like I am being with an opportunist. He just lets me spend money for him while he does not do the same.

Lord, You're the only One I can open this up with. You're the only One I can confide these things with for You know the people around me. The people around us.

Lord, I don't know. What do I do?

I should have just let him grow first. Prove the things that he told me before. Lord, I know of some people, I know some men who depended to their girlfriends for their financial needs. Lord, help me decided on this thing.

Lord, I don't want to just leave him. I don't want to end this relationship just because these things are happening. Father, I love him but I don't want what is happening. He knows that.

Lord, please kindly convict him. Lord, he does not have salary yet according to him and probably he really needs my help. He is being honest with me as regards his finances. Lord, that's the reason why You still want us to give our relationship more time for You still want us to grow together and develop our character.

Help him Lord to be the man. To be the provider and stand on his ground. Lord, I honestly do not like this set up but since I love him, I am willing to stay. Yet Lord, help him Lord God to stand and become who he is if he is going to establish a family.

I will just let him. I will let him stand, I will help him prove himself. Help me to do those things Father.

Lord, is it the right decision for him to buy a house in Armstrong? Many people are saying it is not good there but it is the place that his salary can afford. Lord, please help him to have wisdom. And I will just be right behind him.

Lay is right. I should give him more time, time to stand on his own and to do things on his own. Without me. He gave me many promises when we he was still courting. Lord, please help him to keep all of those.

Father, please. Give me wisdom on this. Should I still continue being with him or do I just pray again for another man to come into my life? One who will really fit my mold.

Father, please give me wisdom on this. Amen.

Strength to Forgive

Dear Lord,

I am in deep pain right now. It just hurts me so much knowing how my earthly father thinks and feels towards me. I don't know but Lord, I still hate him and I actually don't want to see him ever again.

Yet, what can I do? I live in his house. Sadly, I cannot even own this house for myself. It feels like I am a stranger, an outsider in this family with the way he he has been treating us, with the way he has been treating me.

Lord, I am deeply hurt. I want to retaliate, I want to hurt him deeper but I cannot because I fear You. Lord, help me to forgive. Help me to forgive. Help me to accept without pain the fact that he could never love me the way he should, the way I wanted to be loved and accepted by him. Help me to accept the fact that he could never love me fully. Help me to come to terms with this feeling, with my attitude towards him, with my life with him.

Sadly, I feel that both of my parents do not love me as much. Yet, I am thankful to You for You gave me a man who loves me so much. Who loves me wholeheartedly, who loves me for who I am. I am thankful for he knows exactly how to love me. Lord, thank You for his love yet I am more thankful for Your love.

Your the only One I can run to. You're the only I can fully trust and depend on. Yet, I just put You last in my life most of the time. Help me Father God. Help me to always put You first in everything that I do. Lord, please change my heart. So I can obey You and love You more than anything else, more than anyone else.

Lord, help me. Help me to forgive and to just love and respect my parents regardless if they have been good or not. Really, wounded people hurt others too.

Help me also to actually never fully mind the offense of my father towards me. Help me also to fully trust men especially the man I am going to marry. Help me, Father God.

Lord, I am praying for my attitude to change. Lord, help me to come to terms with the negative issues in my life. Help me, Father God. I am begging You, please help me.

Help me Father to understand Your word. Help me to keep them in my heart. Forgive me Lord if I had negative thoughts regarding my fiance. Help me Father God to love him more the way You want me to love, respect and care for him.

Thank You Father God. Amen.

Praying for Patience and Endurance

Dear Lord,

Father, I am praying for more patience and endurance especially when it comes to my earthly father. Sometimes it is really hard and difficult to love him especially when I know that he is doing something wrong to my mother. Father, in Jesus' name, I cannot do this all alone, please help me. I need Your help, Your guidance and Your strength for me to overcome this growing hate inside me.

Lord, as regards my mother, help her Lord to overcome her hate and unforgiveness. Help her Lord to forgive those who wronged her, those who just gave her miseries. Lord, You know what she's going through. Just please help her, in Jesus' name.

Lord, I surrender my earthly father to You. I could never do anything about him, about what he's doing. Lord, just please change my response to him and love him more for right now, I really don't feel like loving him at all. I am starting to feel this hate, real and intense for him for what he is doing.

Lord, just please help me. Help my heart. Cleanse it Lord with all the impurities it has.

Lord, I am also praying for our relationship. May it last and may we get married also. Lord, I am praying that our relationship will really head towards marriage.

Lord, I still have some qualms about him like his attitude with money and giving and about returning things. I am praying Father that may we work these things that bother us together. Lord, our relationship is supposed to be a blessing to others, actually a ministry where we can show that inspite of everything we can still grow together and love each other.

Lord, I overate again yesterday. I am sorry. Lord, I think it is really more of a spiritual and emotional problem than a physical one. Lord, what can I do? Help me. Lord, You are the only One who can really help me with all my concerns and my problems.

Lord, please. Help me. Help me with my struggles, help me become victorious and help me to become stronger. Thank You so much for everything. For all the love and for not being weary and for having such an unfathomable understanding and full acceptance of me.

Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

Be Careful

Dear Lord,

I felt lust again last night and tried to gratify myself. Because of what I heard and read yesterday about that gruesome news. Father, forgive me for I gave in to temptation again and this was even after I already prayed to You. Forgive me Lord. Forgive me.

I will not listen nor read things about that issue anymore. I will just do something more worthwhile and productive instead of wasting my time away watching television and reading garbage articles from the net. For aside from having my lust activated, I am also starting to become so utterly scared and paranoid. It is not healthy anymore.

Lord, help me to understand Your word and apply them to my life. Thank You so much Father God. Thank You for I am still alive and this is a brand new day for me. Thank You for caring for me and loving me inspite of my attitude. Thank You Lord God. Amen.

Thinking About Life

I thinking about life.

How these days people have not been valuing one another. People just kill just like that. They kill for no reason at all, they snuff out life from somebody for simple, selfish, and utterly stupid reasons. People nowadays have become more like savages or maybe even more.

I forgot, I need to say my prayers to God.

Dear Lord,

With all the news and stories on TV right now, I just could not help but feel scared and paranoid. I am always thinking that something bad might happen when in fact there will be none as You promised. You will love us and protect us in everything that we do.

Father, help me to put more of my trust in You and may this faith extend to those people I love and cherish the most. The people who are so important in my life.

Please take away the fear inside my heart.

Father, please forgive my sins. Please forgive my offenses and help me overcome trials and temptations.

Thank You Father. Amen.

Doubting Him

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You again for this lovely and brand new morning for me. Thank You so much Father.

Father, You  know what I am going through right now. You know the doubts, the fears I have inside regarding my fiance. Father, I want to completely trust him yet deep inside I still have reservations for him. Anyway, maybe that's the reason why You are telling me to give more time for our relationship for You still want us to grow more in You and trust in You more completely.

Father, I love him. And I want to spend my days with him for he is a good person and he loves You more than he loves me. He approaches Your throne each time we are having some difficulties.

Father, please help me to just love him and help me to trust. To trust You first and foremost and to trust him if he is to become my husband soon. Father, I know it was Your will for us to be together because of the circumstances and the way we met. Father, help me. Help him. Help us.

Lord, I am lifting up to You the doubts I have inside. I lay them down at Your throne. Lord, help me to just simply love and accept him for who he is and what he has. Help me Father to simply love him and really love him.

I don't really understand why he loves me that much. His love for me is too good to be true that's why I doubt him. Yet, maybe I have an issue within me regarding my own self-acceptance. I think there is this unconscious belief in me that no one could really love me so true like the one that he is giving me right now. I think I have been conditioned to think that I should always give something, I should always replace the love and affection given me. That people have a hidden agenda that's why they are showing me that they love me. Which of course Father is not true.

Help me Lord to trust people. To trust men. To trust him and most especially to trust You. May this issue of mine be uprooted and be replaced by something beautiful, something that would enrich and nourish my heart and my life.

Father, thank You for him. Thank You for the man that he is. Thank You for loving me and for loving him. Help us Father God. Help him also with his job. And also help me to forgive my own father and those men who hurt and abused me in the past.

Lord, thank You for You are telling me these things. That it is not him but me. Thank You so much Father God. I am praying Lord God for our relationship. Please bless us and help us to become pure and simply love each other in everything that we do. Thank You Lord. Amen.

Disappointed

Dear Lord,

Thank You again for this lovely morning. Thank You for this time, thank You that I am still alive and my loved ones are all alive and well. Thank You.

I am so disappointed with myself yesterday. I really freaked out, I was so mean. It feels like everything was my fault. I really feel bad about myself especially with the way I reacted in front of the kids. It was really so sad.

I feel like I failed a lot. I really feel bad.

I also feel insignificant sometimes especially in the workplace. I feel sometimes that my superiors do not trust me enough. I really feel sad about things, Father.

That's why I overate again. I did things that seemed to be pleasurable at the moment but would cost me this low feeling, this sadness and brokenness I am having right now. Father, forgive me and please lift my spirits now.

Lord, I am thankful for the support and love my fiance is giving me. As well as my family especially my mother. Thank You so much. Also most of my friends. Thank You Lord.

Thank You also that there are still people who believe in me and who trust in my abilities. Thank You.

Lord, help me overcome this feeling. Maybe because I still have unforgiveness in my heart towards my earthly father. Help me overcome this feeling.

Lord, I have been asking for patience but there I was, exploding like a bomb yesterday. It was because of fear and anger combined. Both negative emotions so I had negative reaction. Lord, thank You for You still gave grace and saved my pupils from total injury. Thank You and I am learning my lesson.

Lord, thank You so much for everything. Forgive me Father. Amen.

Doubting Still

Dear Lord,

Father, thank You so much for this lovely morning. Thank You for I still have a new life and I am happy for I am still alive. Thank You so much.

Father God, You know that somehow I still have doubts as regards Jeff. I don't know but is it just because of what the people around me are telling or is it because the Holy Spirit is talking to my soul telling me something?

Lord, sometimes I am thinking that he might just be using me, that the reason why he is so sure about marrying me is that he wants to get the good things from me. But no, Father he is Your child, Your son and I believe he is not what others are trying to tell me to be.

Father, help me. Help me discern everything. Getting married is a lifetime commitment, something that one should really think about first. Help me to decide and help me to just trust in You and depend on You completely.

Thank You so much Father God. Amen.

BEE.

Doubting Still

Dear Lord,

Father, we are getting married the coming year. Everything happened fast. Do I still barely know him or am I really seeing what I am supposed to see?

Lord, I believe he is a good man. A wonderful person. He understands me in many ways. Father, I love him but sometimes I still have doubts that just might be using me.

Lord, show me. The real him. But then I see him most of the time. We get to talk a lot, we get to understand each other more and more everyday. Lord, please help me.

Give me wisdom. Give me understand and please give me discernment. Lord, please help me and please forgive me for my wrongdoings and mistakes. Amen.

BEE

Impulsive Decision

Dear Lord,

Lord, I am thinking right now. Honestly, I am feeling angry again with my father and a bit with my mother. Why can't they just work things out between the two of them?

Lord, my father. He's not been telling the truth and You know that. As much as I want to love and respect him, the more that he is becoming unbearable. Why can't he just give his hundred percent to his family? Why does he have other people to think about and love to the point of keeping something from his wife and children?

I don't know. Lord, I want to have a family of my own . My own home. Yet, right now I am still thinking am I just being impulsive or am I making the right decision?

Father, You know that I want to have church wedding. Deep in my heart yet given our circumstances it is going to be quite uneasy.

You know my fiance, he does not have much money. He is not rich but he is really trying to do something. Lord, all we want is to have our own house, our own family and to live our lives simply and just glorifying You.

I don't want to disrespect my own father. Forgive me and yes, help me to love him more for I want to have Your blessings. I am angry deep inside. I want to hurt him for hurting me but it is not what You want. Forgive me Father for even thinking this way.

Lord, thank You so much. Please help me. Help me with my problem and my dilemma. Help me with what I am going through. Money should not be a very big issue in our lives. Help me Father please.

Contentment

Dear Lord,

Thank You again for this brand new day. Forgive me for my sins. Yes Lord, forgive me and please change my heart for the better.

Father, thank You for Your kindness and grace. Thank You that You love me and that You value me so much.

Father, help me. Help me change my heart and mind. Help me Lord God to be content with him and with everything that he can give me. Lord, he is like that. He does not shower me gifts, he does not please other people, he is just being himself.

He is not what I have in mind, the ideal boyfriend. But he is a good person. Forgive me if I disrespect him and put him down. Lord, I hate myself for being so childish and for being so cruel to him. Forgive me for being unloving to him. Forgive me Father God.

Lord, I love him. Help me Father to accept him completely for who he is warts and all. Help me to become more loving, to become more patient and to learn to be content and to never compare him with other men.

Lord, this is what relationship is all about. Acceptance. As I accept, I value, I care and I love. Lord, this is how my relationship with him should be.

Lord, may our relationship be blessed by You and be guided by You. Thank You for we are not bounded by lust anymore. Thank You for we are being busy most of the time and thank You for our souls and our minds meet most of the time. I am so in love with his character, with his personality more than the material things, more than anything.

Father, thank You for the valuable lesson I am learning from You through him each day. Thank You for when he came into my life, my perspectives have been changing.

Thank You also for the trials for they are helping me become a better and more loving person to him.

Lord, just please help me. Help me to be content, to accept him and embrace him completely and to just love him with all my heart after You. Thank You Lord.

Help me to submit to him. Help me to just follow his leadership. Thank You for the man that You gave me. Thanks a lot.

May I learn from Your word today and may I apply them in my life each day. Amen.

My Heart's Doubt

Dear Lord,

Thank You so much again for this brand new morning. Thank You for You are there and You are not leaving our side and thank You for we are learning something from You everyday.

Father, You know my dilemma right now. You know that I still doubt the choice that I made about my boyfriend now. Forgive me for sometimes, I am not so proud of him. That I am ashamed to even let some of my friends know about him. Father, forgive me. You gave him to me though he's not perfect and the perfect cut-out of my dreams. I don't know, I was just drawn towards him because of his kindness and gentleness to me. His humility. His love for me.

Father, there will always be someone better than him. I know that. And I know that there will always be someone better than me. Father, help me to come to terms with this and help me to shun away all the other voices that just confuse me and just listen to that still, small voice that comes from You.

Do I go ahead with this relationship? Yes.

Are You the center of his life? Yes.

Lord, may he also always put You first in his life. May his words become blessings always and may he become a blessing to others. I am also praying that may he reach his full potential.

Father, help us. Help us grow in You and obey You in everything that we do. Help us to follow what You have in mind for us. Lord, help us in our lives together and may our security come from You alone and not from the things that You give us and bless us with.

Father, help me to just simply listen and follow Your advice. Help me seek You and just be near to You in every way. Thank You Father for everything. May I understand Your Word this morning. Amen.

Jealousy or What?

Dear Lord,

Father, forgive me but sometimes I think bad about his relatives especially the people he is now living with. Sometimes I have this feeling that they abuse his kindness and they look down on him.

Father, it hurts me a lot. Forgive me but that's how I think and feel. I pray that this is wrong. I pray that I am just assuming and I only have a very wild imagination.

Forgive me Father God. They are people too, Your children too and I honestly do not want to offend You just because I have this so and so feelings.

Help me to discern what is good and loving and kind. Thank You Father God. Amen.

BEE

Asking for Help

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You so much for this morning. Thank You that I still have life, that I still have hope and peace inside me.

Lord, I ma asking for Your guidance. My fiance and I are planning to get married as early as March. Is it wise or what do You think about it?

Time. Give our relationship more time. Lord, because You want us to grow together, You want to develop our characters still so we can face the challenges ahead. Sometimes I am scared but then You remind me that it is You, You are the center of the relationship and that You brought us together. Just help us Father and please provide for us with all our needs.

Father, help me not to ask too much from him. Help me not to look from him material things that he just cannot afford. Lord, help me to be content with whatever he can give me and not ask for too much. Lord, I know You still develop some things in him. Help us to just follow You and obey You in everything that we do.

Father, may we also have our own little babies. May we build a family of five where we have three kids. I want to have three kids but because of financial constraints, we can't. Lord, please help us. Whatever it is that You deem wise, please help us do it.

Lord, last night I was surprise to find myself not having some "kilig" feelings anymore. What do you think? Is my love really coming full circle meaning it has gone beyond that stage? But sometimes I miss it. But I am not going to trade what I have already.

Thank You for giving me a loving and very kind man. Thank You for him though sometimes he is not really perfect. Maybe because I am looking for my "father" in him but of course I cannot find for in the first place, he is not my father. Help me Lord to come to terms with my issues with my own earthly father so that I can fully love the would-be-father or my children.

Father, please help me. Please help me. Cut the areas that don't grow, weed out the bad ones in me. Thank You so much Lord God. Amen.

Thankful

Dear Lord,

Thank You so much for the time yesterday. Thank You for I learned a lot of things and still counting. Thank You for teaching me a lot of things.

Father, may I still have that kind of time with You. Please give me again the willpower and the strength to just depend on You and not just on material things like food.

Thank You Lord and may I understand Your Word this morning. May I learn something new from You again Father. Thank You so much. Amen.

Deep Seated Issues

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You for this lovely morning again. Thank You for I still have life and the sun is shining so brightly outside. I am thankful for I have all that I need everyday and even more. Thank You.

I am sorry if at times I forget those blessings. If I tend to focus on what I do not have instead on what I do have. I am sorry if I still desire for more and more until I forget the word contentment. I am sorry Father.

I am thankful for this warm, breezy yet cool room. I am thankful for the wind outside, I am thankful for the food on the table, I am thankful for the people I have around.

Lord, I am sorry. The deep seated issues I have within me are actually surfacing now. Especially the issues I have with my father. You know, now I understand why I always do not feel I measure up, why do I feel rejected inside. Because that is how I feel from my earthly father. All my life, I have tried to measure up, I have tried for someone to love me and only me to no avail. My mom's favorite is my brother, my father's favorite is my sister. Father, this is a very sad realization yet I have to come to terms with this for it will affect my relationship with the man I am going to marry. I might demand from him though subconsciously that he just focus on me, that I am the only one for his attention.

Lord this is wrong. I must understand that though my earthly father did not give me the right kind of value any girl should have, still I must believe that You are there, You are on my side and You value me more than anyone else in this world. Thank You for You are the only One who can do that and You are the only One I can truly depend on.

Forgive me if I had been such a pain in the neck to my fiance. Forgive me for acting so childish, for being so jealous most of the time. Forgive me Father God and I am still yet to learn to trust You and to just depend upon You completely.

I forgot to say thank You for this semester break. I was able to clean my room, fix my things and tidy things up. Thank You for helping me and for bringing back senses into my brain. Thank You.

Father God, I am praying for a good house next year. May my future husband and I find a lovely place, a good place where we can build our own family. Father, I know that it is Your will for us to be together. May our wedding be just quiet, simple yet beautiful and may we overcome temptation especially the lust of the flesh each time we are together. Thank You Father God.

Lord, I actually have a lot of things to tell You. How grateful I am, how thankful I am to You. Thank You for just picking me up each time I would fall to the ground because of my own foolishness and selfishness. Forgive me Lord and thank You so much.

May this morning, may I understand everything that You have to say and to tell me. Thank You Father God. Amen.

Pacify My Soul

Dear Lord,

Something terrible happened again. You know already what. Father, it is really scary nowadays to go outside even to just walk around the neighborhood. Father, I am praying for the comfort of the family of that girl who was murdered by those people. Lord, I want to call them worthless for indeed they are but Lord You will be the One who will punish those people.

Father, I am praying for the safety of my family, of those people I love. I also pray that the place where Jeff and I will live will be a safe and good one. Father, I am praying for the best house, the best place for us. I am praying for those things Father.

Lord, is it Your will for us to get married? Yes, I guess so. He is going to be my husband. May we have a God-centered relationship where You will be the One who will be glorified in every way.

Father, I am asking for Your peace. Peace that only You can offer. Father, You said that "even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me. Psalm 23:4 NLT.

Lord, there is really no certainty in this world. Only You and the Word that You give. May I have peace right now. And I am praying for protection for all the people that I love.

Father, I am praying for the ministry that I will join in Victory. Is it the Kid's Church? I guess it is. May it happen Father. Show me the person to whom I can apply for that. Father, may I also have more focus on You.

I am also praying that You kindly change my heart. So I can be an effective channel of blessings for others. May I also share the goodness that You have given me, Your death and Your resurrection.

Father, help me. I am also praying for the salvation of my friends. Of Ynnah, Dizza, Lay and Ianne. I am also praying for patience for right now I am pissed off with my mother. Help me Lord please.

I should have woken up earlier. I should have focused on You right away when I woke up. Forgive me Lord that's why this is happening.

Lord, help me to understand Your Word today. Help me to really live by them and to just go no matter what to the right direction.

Thank You Father God. Amen.

Finding Fullness in God

Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food. “Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life. I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David. Isaiah 55:2-3 NLT

Dear Lord,

I have been doing this. These are Your Words to me. Rhetorically asking me about my actions. Father, I can only find my satisfaction in You. No food, no person nor things could ever give me the satisfaction and love that only comes from You Jesus. Help me to just listen to You and to honor You in everything that I do. Clear my mind with every impurity it has and help me to just get wisdom and understanding from You. Thank You Father God. Amen.

Praying for Purity

Dear Lord,

Lord, I am sorry. Please forgive me for leading him on, for becoming so aggressive towards him. Lord, forgive me. I love him, I want to please him and give him whatever it is that can make him happy.

But on the process, I am offending You and hurting You. Forgive me. Lord, I really cannot control myself most of the time that I am with him. Lord, You know exactly the nature of us women. You know how we are stimulated by the words we hear and the touch we receive. Father, You know how he touches my heart so deeply with his sincere words and his gentle, caring touch. Father, forgive me. I am really human, I need Your grace and Your mercy and Your strength. Help us, help me to just wait for the right time until You give us the gift of physical intimacy.

Father, help us to marry. A year's time is quite long. Help us to control our urges. Help me to control myself. I love him and yes Lord I long to be so close and intimate with him. But how? We are not yet married. Father, I long to take care of him and love him the way You want me to love my husband.

Father, help me do the right thing. Help us do the right thing. Please help us and may Your will be done in our lives. Thank You Father God. Thank You so much for everything.

Father, I cannot do this all alone. Help me. Help me do the right thing. Amen.

Knowing Your Will

Dear God,

Lord, I have realized that we did not ask You if we can get married or not.

Is it Your will for us Lord? Anyway, Father money is our only problem and I am sorry for being unfaithful to You.
Sometimes Lord, it is really quite difficult to trust You especially when I have not yet seen what is going to happen. But that's the real essence of faith. The real essence of Hebrews 11:1.
I am sorry for my unbelief. I have been basing my confidence from the things I see around me. The things that surround me, what others say and think about. I noticed that I have not been asking Your opinion, Your thoughts on my concerns. I am sorry, Father.
Father, is it okay if we will get married next year? Or do we have to wait? But Father, money is our only problem. And You will be the One who will provide.
I don't know. Now more than ever is the time that I will trust You more and I have more confidence in You. Thank You Father God.
Lord, thank You for this brand new day and may I learn something from what You are about to say. Amen.

Hating My Earthly Father

Dear Lord,

Forgive me. Forgive me for becoming like this again. I am hating my father right now.

You know him. He has not been so loving and caring to us, to me. I don't know.

I think he does not love me. He would always just count his money and everything that he gives me. I even have a negative attitude regarding money all because of him.

Father, heal me. I am scared of myself for I think I haven't been respecting him. I know I have said things that would hurt him and honestly I am not remorseful for all those things. I am sorry I feel this way. I am scared of myself for this negative attitudes might manifest when my future husband and I would have a fight and disagreement over something Father. I don't want that thing to happen to us.

I think I need to have some counseling. Father, I want to go to the church for me to have my counseling regarding this deep-seated issues. I am really angry right now. I am hurt and honestly I don't want to talk to him anymore. I am rebelling actually. But this of course will never do me any good at all. Please help me.

Father, indeed it is really hard to love my enemy. Right now my enemy is the negative spirit and attitude of my earthly father. Help me Lord. Forgive me also. Forgive me. I have always wanted a father, a strong male figure in my life to love me. Is it asking for too much, Lord?

Lord, I am really disappointed. I am really sad. Father, please heal my heart. Help me. I cannot do this all alone. I know that only in You I can find grace and enough love for me to go on. I do not want to look for it from other human sources though they are wonderful bonuses.

I may never have the ideal father, but You will be my Dad. Please Lord. Please take good care of me and please attend to my needs. My boyfriend is not my father so help me not to look at him that way and seek from him the kind of love I did not get from my own earthly father. May You be my loving Dad, the One who will give me my needs and who will take good care of me.

Father, may I also by Your grace and mercy forgive him. Forgive him with all of my heart. Let not hate rule over my heart but only Your love. The love only You can give. This is a supernatural love for my natural love does not work for him right now. I need that kind of love that only comes from You.

Father, forgive me for being disrespectful. Forgive me. Amen.

Overcoming Impurity

Dear Lord,

I gave in to the lust of my flesh again. Lord, please forgive me for instead of rushing to get to Your Word, I let my wandering mind and lustful heart rule over me. Forgive me, Father.

I have realized that in our relationship, indeed it has been me who has not been practicing purity. I have been leading my fiance on which of course is not healthy for our relationship. Maybe because I still have some residual issues from the past but then Lord, I know that by Your strife, I have been healed already and that I am already a new creation.

Father, sex is good when it is within the bounds of marriage. Father, You know how much I have wanted to be so close and intimate with him for he loves me a lot. I am stimulated by his touch, by his affection. Lord, forgive me. I really have desires to be with him and to give myself to him for he has been so good and loving to me. That is how You created me.

He has given me love only You can plant in his heart for him to give me. Father, all I want is to bless him, to love him and to always keep him safe.

Father, help us. I know he will be pressured about getting married in February. Father, please provide for us. Is it okay Lord if we will have our civil wedding first and then our Christian union in December 2013?

I want to help him Lord. I want to help him plan for everything. Please provide for us. Provide for him, provide for me. Lord, I am sorry. I am sorry for giving in to temptation again to self-gratify. Please forgive me. And cleanse my heart.

Thank You Father God. Thank You very much for everything. For all Your wonderful blessings in my life. Thank You Father. Amen.

Thankful

Dear Lord,

Thank You so much again for this wonderful day. Though I just rested and did nothing most of the time, thank You still for I was still able to accomplish the things that I needed to accomplish for the day especially the big ones.

Father, I have been preoccupied by marriage again. I want to be married to him Father. My family loves him, my friends as well and yes, I do love him. Father, is it okay if we would get married in February? If so, then please by Your grace and mercy please provide for us.

I want him to have his family here. I want him to feel that he is being taken care of. I do not really care about the ceremony only the meaning and the reason why we are doing that ceremony in the first place. Father, a wedding does not have to be frivolous nor expensive. Just a very simple, solemn and quiet one will do for me, for us.

What I am after is his well-being. The house he lives in, the food he eats. Father, You know fully well his situation. I just want to take care of him. My heart really cries for him.

Father, thank You so much for giving me such a good, wonderful and loving man. A man who places You first in his life, the man who puts me second after You. I am thankful for he just brings out the best in me and he makes me appreciate what life is really all about.

Father, please I am praying. Please provide for us. Provide for our wedding. Even if it is only simple and cheap, I do not care. What we are after is our relationship with each other.

I am touched for my youngest brother was looking for him. Maybe he also felt the kind of man Jeff is. I am thankful Father God. I am just thankful.

Father, please provide for our wedding. Thank You very much. Amen.

Worries and Anxieties Again

Dear Lord,

Thank You for this brand new morning. Thank You Father for Your love and Your grace and for the brand new life You have blessed me with.

I am sorry again for being worried and for having this unfounded anxieties again. I know that You have a path for me and I thank You for You are giving me that desire to really work my way on that path. Things will never be easy, there will be stress and even lots of tears along the way even some financial burdens but by Your grace and mercy and the hope from Your salvation, Your will in my life will prevail.

Lord, You know the institution I am with right now. You know how they have not been taking good care of their employees. Father, I am starting to unlike the system but I am still working there. Lord, please help me with this kind of feeling I have right now. I am starting to be discontented and yes, really demoralized because of what has been happening in our school right now. Help me to overcome this, love my work while I am still there until there will be a time that You will plant me somewhere.

Father, You know my life. I am happy for You have given me already the person I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life and love with. He may not be the ideal and picture perfect man of my dreams but he is who I need and together our relationship will glorify You. Father, help us, help me not to be too intimate with him until we are married. I love him so much Father that is why I want to make him happy but I am actually compromising myself and my relationship with You. Father, help me overcome, help us overcome temptation and may we have a satisfying and enjoyable intimate life together when we are married already. May You be the center of our relationship Father.

Father, I will just trust You for You know the works that You are doing in my life. I am also praying for the strained relationship of my boss and my friend. May they be in good terms again and may they find peace again with each other. Lord, You are the only One who can fix severed relationships.

Thank You so much Lord. Amen.

September 28, 2012

Dear Lord,

Lord, please forgive me. Forgive me when I gave in to the lust of my flesh and sinful passion.

Father, I know how much the man You gave me, Jeff loves me that's why I could not help but have this desire to love him in the physical way. But Lord, it is not yet time for us to do those things.

Father help me. Help me not to seduce him anymore.. I love him and I want to be intimate with him but I also want to follow You and obey You. Help me Father. Help us.

Lord, may we be together next year. May our relationship become more spiritually intimate with You and may we not gratify our own fleshly and sinful desires.

Father I am sorry but I think I still have this thinking that for me to be loved, I must give myself physically also.

I am thankful that Jeff is not like that. That he is not taking advantage of me and that he really loves me and only thinks what is best for me. He loves me a lot.

Father, I am also sorry if I am having this fear that if I commit mistakes, You might take Him away from me. Father forgive me for this very wrong thinking. It only creates fear and worry in me. I am sorry if sometimes I am thinking that because I am so happy and contented now, You might take him away from me. Father forgive me if I am thinking of You that way. This is an attack again by the enemy.

I will always remember that You know the plans You have for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me and plans to give me hope and a future. Father, thank You for this assurance. Father thank You for sending Jesus Christ so that I can have a life and live it to the full.

Thank You Lord. Please change my heart and increase my faith more. Amen.

Saving Money Syndrome and House Hunting Agenda

Dear Lord,

You know what I am going through right now. You know that I am currently building up stress thinking about what to do as regard the house that we will have. Father, I am such a control freak and I am sorry I am taking away that precious and piece of peanut responsibility from You.

Father, thank You for I am becoming more responsible as regards the handling of my finances. Before I was so out of control but since You gave me Jeff, I have become careful and mindful with regard to the financial resources that You are giving me. Looking back, I could have earned big amount of money but then I could never bring those lost times and opportunities anymore. Anyway, there should be no more "I could haves" for I will only feel bad. I will dust myself off and yes, try again and do better this time. With Your help, guidance and wisdom of course.

Father, I am thinking about the house. Our soon-to-be house. I don't want to live in the house of my parents for my husband-to-be might find it uncomfortable but please be in control. You know our situation. My parents are willing to help me, help us but I don't want to take advantage of their generosity and kindness. I want us to have a house of our own. And a business of our own also.

Father, You are our provider. What do You want us to establish first? A house or a business? Please give me wisdom, give us wisdom for we want to have a life, a comfortable life together and our children as well and we will serve You.

Lord, You will be in control of everything. What do You have to say on my dilemma? Please help me. Give me wisdom and discernment. For now, we will just save. I will just save so that when You already give us the go-signal we will be fully equipped in everything.

Thank You for this time. Thank You for slowly changing my heart and it will be from glory to glory. I badly need Your Word now Father and please forgive me for the pride, the worries and the words I said that did not give glory to You.

Amen.

September 23, 2012

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.  Proverbs 3: 5-6 NLT

Father, these are included in my life verses. I cannot just do things now on my own. I need Your guidance and Your wisdom as I go through my life and now that I am planning to join mine with another.

I cannot just accept the advice this world gives. I need to know where those things come from. I need to know if they all come from You.

I need to be given godly counsel. I need to put more of my trust in You as I seek You and look for wisdom and discernment. Father, I need wisdom now more than ever.

Help me Lord. I cannot just rely on my so-called intuition or my own strength. I need to trust You more and just be more faithful and obedient to You. I need You to guide me in every path and step that I take in this road called life.

Father, thank You. Thank You so much. Help us. Help me. Thank You Father. Amen.

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Fears Again

Dear Lord,

Good morning. Early in the morning I was already feeling fearful and scared. Lord, Jeff and I are already talking about marriage but until now we have not yet talked about the issue of money.

I am scared Father. Scared that in the future he might be controlling our finances. I am scared that he might limit me with my salary and things for myself etc. I am scared of those things so I am having apprehensions if I would marry him or not.

But Lord I know my fears are unfounded. They are just creations of my crazy imagination. Forgive me. For I think subconsciously I might also be projecting towards him the reason why my parents have not yet met halfway in their relationship.Money is the problem between them.

I am just scared that I might be the one who would just work and pay the bills for us. I am scared of this too though he has a job also. But I know that his job does not pay that much though I am not knowledgeable about the exact figures. I am scared Father.

Father, please give me wisdom on this. I know he is the one I want to marry, the one You gave me but still I have my fears. These are coming from the fear about the issue of money. But I believe as Christians who want to get married this is something we have to give really consideration to for it might be an issue when we are already together.

Yes Lord. We will have premarital counseling. We will have that so we can be wiser and more grounded in You. Father God, thank You so much. Thank You for giving me wisdom. I know You will help us as we start our lives together. I know challenges will come along the way but we can get them through not by our own strength and knowledge but that wisdom, that discernment that only comes from You.

Thank You so much. Thank You very much. I will be more faithful to You. Amen.

Pride and Destruction

Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 NLT

Father God, this verse I will always keep in my heart. Pride. This is the root cause of my problem. That's why I have this subconscious self-entitlement syndrome in me. People should treat me this way, that way.

Father, forgive me also for somehow, deep in my heart I am looking down on him because I am more educated. Foolish for he acts more educated than I do. Forgive me. Take away the pride in me and change my heart with just love, humility and patience.

Father, I am destroying myself. I am. Help me. It is all because of the pride in me. Take it away Father God. Help me to become more loving, understanding and just be more loving.

Thank You Lord. Help me Lord before it's too late. 

Thank You again. Amen.

Change Me

Dear Lord,

Father, I have sinned so many times. I have committed lots of mistakes and done grievous behavior I want to be eaten by the ground.

Father, I am sorry. I am sorry if I had been too preoccupied by my relationship with him, if my perception with how treated me affected my whole attitude and behavior. Forgive me. I know Lord, deep inside me I could not believe that I am being loved just the way he does because I have deep seated insecurities, anger and delusional expectations of myself and other people. Forgive me.

I am begging You Father, please change me. Change my heart and my mind. Help me to put You first so that I will not be like this. I almost lost the man I cherish the most. Father, I love him. I don't want to lose the man You have given me because he is Your gift to me. Father, I am begging You please change my heart and my mind. Help me to become more patient, loving and understanding.

I know I am like this because I am finding imperfections. I am seeing even the tiniest and most trivial mistakes a person does. Father, change me. Change my mind and my heart. Forgive me.

Lord, help me to just be grounded in You and be devoted to You. Thank You because You gave me someone like him. So please help me to love him, honor him and respect him. Father, take away the pride in me. Help me to just wear humility and disregard my pride always.

Father, thank You so much. Thank You. Amen.

Thinking

Dear Lord,

Honestly, I don't know. He has been so good to me, spending time with me and most of the time paying for the food we eat and the fare when we go home but he is not buying me anything. Maybe because he thinks I am too expensive and yes, I told him that he should not buy things for me anyway. But I am still longing to receive flowers and other things.

Maybe because I am used to be given by my own dad and my own mom. This has been our practice as a family. Maybe this is what I am used to. To be given beautiful material things.

Father, how do I deal with it? How will he know that side, that aspect of my personality? Yes, I want time more but sometimes it just feels good when someone gives you something even if it is just a very small thing.

Maybe Lord that is not really his love language. Yesterday, I was able to prove it because he just nonchalantly received the book and the Bible I gave him. Lord, please help me. Yet, I know he still does not have that capacity to give my whims and my wants.

But he provides for me when we go out. He pays for the food and fare. He is willing to buy the house. Maybe, I am just too immature to think about these things. He gives me his time and effort. He is so generous with them. I appreciate him for those.

Lord, just bless him. And help me to be content and not to look for things that he cannot do and give. For now. In time I know he will surely and truly learn how he can love me fully and deal with me. Thank You Father God. Amen.