Hating My Earthly Father

Dear Lord,

Forgive me. Forgive me for becoming like this again. I am hating my father right now.

You know him. He has not been so loving and caring to us, to me. I don't know.

I think he does not love me. He would always just count his money and everything that he gives me. I even have a negative attitude regarding money all because of him.

Father, heal me. I am scared of myself for I think I haven't been respecting him. I know I have said things that would hurt him and honestly I am not remorseful for all those things. I am sorry I feel this way. I am scared of myself for this negative attitudes might manifest when my future husband and I would have a fight and disagreement over something Father. I don't want that thing to happen to us.

I think I need to have some counseling. Father, I want to go to the church for me to have my counseling regarding this deep-seated issues. I am really angry right now. I am hurt and honestly I don't want to talk to him anymore. I am rebelling actually. But this of course will never do me any good at all. Please help me.

Father, indeed it is really hard to love my enemy. Right now my enemy is the negative spirit and attitude of my earthly father. Help me Lord. Forgive me also. Forgive me. I have always wanted a father, a strong male figure in my life to love me. Is it asking for too much, Lord?

Lord, I am really disappointed. I am really sad. Father, please heal my heart. Help me. I cannot do this all alone. I know that only in You I can find grace and enough love for me to go on. I do not want to look for it from other human sources though they are wonderful bonuses.

I may never have the ideal father, but You will be my Dad. Please Lord. Please take good care of me and please attend to my needs. My boyfriend is not my father so help me not to look at him that way and seek from him the kind of love I did not get from my own earthly father. May You be my loving Dad, the One who will give me my needs and who will take good care of me.

Father, may I also by Your grace and mercy forgive him. Forgive him with all of my heart. Let not hate rule over my heart but only Your love. The love only You can give. This is a supernatural love for my natural love does not work for him right now. I need that kind of love that only comes from You.

Father, forgive me for being disrespectful. Forgive me. Amen.