Dear Lord,
Forgive me. Forgive me for not living my life according to Your will. Forgive me for living my life on my own and not consulting You but just letting You know.
Father, I am getting married in a month. And You know the sinful things that we did together. Help us to repent Father and turn from our wicked ways. Lord, help us to make things right. Help us not to look at marriage as something to cure our "spiritual disease" rather it should be a union that will bless each one of us.
Thank You Lord. Thank You for giving him to me. Thank You for blessing me with a very kind and loving man.
Who is not perfect, a flawed human being who also needs Your grace.
We both need Your grace Lord as we head to our new life together. Thank You very much. Thank You for loving us.
You want us to lead holy lives. Our human passions burn us so it is better for us to marry. May our marriage become a blessing and good testimony to others.
Thank You Father. Amen.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Processing Myself and Just Loving
The Law says, “You must not do any sex sin. You must not kill another person. You must not steal. You must not tell a lie about another person. You must not want something someone else has.” The Law also says that these and many other Laws are brought together in one Law, “You must love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Anyone who loves his neighbor will do no wrong to him. You keep the Law with love. Romans 13:9-10 NLV
Dear Lord,
I am disappointed with someone right now. You know who though she might not have done something not-so-good directly to me, still I am disappointed. Yet I must also remember that I am a sinner and I just need You in my life as I go through life everyday.
Lord, help me to not look at people especially those who profess to belong in Your church. Help me not to feel self-righteous and help me to just have love and understanding for them in my heart. Lord, help me not to be distracted anymore and just focus on You and Your goodness.
Lord, You also know the things that are coming ahead. I love the person You have given me so please Lord help him. Help him I am begging You. And help me to just love him and be there for him unconditionally.
Lord, we'll be able to make it through. Lord, I know I will come out of these dilemmas shining and more matured. I will be better honed to face life and everything it will surely throw my way be it good or bad. You have plans, You have things in Your mind so all we need to do is trust You. And trust You with all our heart.
Father help me to come to terms with my feelings towards her. I feel cheated and betrayed. Yet Lord, she is also a human being like me. We are fallen by nature and You saved us by Your grace.
Lord, I know that these things happen for a reason. I know that You only want me to be more faithful and loving. But Lord, You know that it is really a struggle for me and surely I could never do it on my own. Kindly help me Father. Help me as I live my life.
Lord, help me to love my neighbor as myself. And help me to love myself also the way You want me to. Thank You Father God. Amen.
Dear Lord,
I am disappointed with someone right now. You know who though she might not have done something not-so-good directly to me, still I am disappointed. Yet I must also remember that I am a sinner and I just need You in my life as I go through life everyday.
Lord, help me to not look at people especially those who profess to belong in Your church. Help me not to feel self-righteous and help me to just have love and understanding for them in my heart. Lord, help me not to be distracted anymore and just focus on You and Your goodness.
Lord, You also know the things that are coming ahead. I love the person You have given me so please Lord help him. Help him I am begging You. And help me to just love him and be there for him unconditionally.
Lord, we'll be able to make it through. Lord, I know I will come out of these dilemmas shining and more matured. I will be better honed to face life and everything it will surely throw my way be it good or bad. You have plans, You have things in Your mind so all we need to do is trust You. And trust You with all our heart.
Father help me to come to terms with my feelings towards her. I feel cheated and betrayed. Yet Lord, she is also a human being like me. We are fallen by nature and You saved us by Your grace.
Lord, I know that these things happen for a reason. I know that You only want me to be more faithful and loving. But Lord, You know that it is really a struggle for me and surely I could never do it on my own. Kindly help me Father. Help me as I live my life.
Lord, help me to love my neighbor as myself. And help me to love myself also the way You want me to. Thank You Father God. Amen.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Fighting Against My Demons
Dear Lord,
You know what I am going through right now. Thank You for I am slowly coming to terms with the people around me and my emotions.
You know how affected I have become when Leng and I talked about ADD and me showing manifestations of such.
Do I Lord? Or I just don't have the right heart with You?
I am scared it might affect my relationship and my future life with Jeff.
Is it really wise to get married in April?
Or are we just acting in haste because we also feel lust for each other?
Lord, I don't want our relationship to be destroyed because of lust or any other negative emotions. Help us Father God. Help the both of us to become more patient and more loving and understanding with each other.
Thank You for helping me become honest with how I felt. Thank You for the right words to say.
Lord, help us. I don't want my emotions and my heart get the best of me. Thank You Father. Please give me wisdom and a sound heart as I make decisions for my life.
Thank You Father God. I know You have blessed me with such a loving man. Though he can be so stingy sometimes. But we can talk about things and find ways so we can always meet halfway.
Thank You Lord. Amen.
You know what I am going through right now. Thank You for I am slowly coming to terms with the people around me and my emotions.
You know how affected I have become when Leng and I talked about ADD and me showing manifestations of such.
Do I Lord? Or I just don't have the right heart with You?
I am scared it might affect my relationship and my future life with Jeff.
Is it really wise to get married in April?
Or are we just acting in haste because we also feel lust for each other?
Lord, I don't want our relationship to be destroyed because of lust or any other negative emotions. Help us Father God. Help the both of us to become more patient and more loving and understanding with each other.
Thank You for helping me become honest with how I felt. Thank You for the right words to say.
Lord, help us. I don't want my emotions and my heart get the best of me. Thank You Father. Please give me wisdom and a sound heart as I make decisions for my life.
Thank You Father God. I know You have blessed me with such a loving man. Though he can be so stingy sometimes. But we can talk about things and find ways so we can always meet halfway.
Thank You Lord. Amen.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Leave Things in Your Hands
Dear Lord,
I am now leaving things in Your hands. I don't want to stress myself out anymore, to bother about things that do not really matter in anyway.
Looking deeply into my heart, I must have had too much pride and arrogance inside me that I could not easily accept the things that have been happening to me right now. I must have had too much haughtiness in me.
Lord, Thy will be done. I am yielding all my control. I have become such a control freak that I have started to control the people around me and even the turn of events I have wanted to place them in my hands.
Lord, I don't want to bother anymore. I want to just forgive those people, to love them even if they are so unlovable. Forgive me for those times that I lost my control, I lost my temper and gossiped a lot about others. I think I must learn to keep my mouth shut from now on.
Father, help me to change. Help me to become more matured, to become more objective and yes to be more patient in everything. Help me to really accept that things and people and the movement of life change. Only one thing does not. Your love for us. Thank You.
I am lifting up to You now my concerns, the wedding in December or January, our life together with my soon-to-be husband, my work, the people around me and my future. I am also yielding my bad attitude to You Father. Help me to change everything. My mind as well.
Thank You very much Lord. Thank You for Your messages today. Thank You Father God. Amen.
I am now leaving things in Your hands. I don't want to stress myself out anymore, to bother about things that do not really matter in anyway.
Looking deeply into my heart, I must have had too much pride and arrogance inside me that I could not easily accept the things that have been happening to me right now. I must have had too much haughtiness in me.
Lord, Thy will be done. I am yielding all my control. I have become such a control freak that I have started to control the people around me and even the turn of events I have wanted to place them in my hands.
Lord, I don't want to bother anymore. I want to just forgive those people, to love them even if they are so unlovable. Forgive me for those times that I lost my control, I lost my temper and gossiped a lot about others. I think I must learn to keep my mouth shut from now on.
Father, help me to change. Help me to become more matured, to become more objective and yes to be more patient in everything. Help me to really accept that things and people and the movement of life change. Only one thing does not. Your love for us. Thank You.
I am lifting up to You now my concerns, the wedding in December or January, our life together with my soon-to-be husband, my work, the people around me and my future. I am also yielding my bad attitude to You Father. Help me to change everything. My mind as well.
Thank You very much Lord. Thank You for Your messages today. Thank You Father God. Amen.
Monday, December 31, 2012
On The Way To Marriage
Dear Lord,
Lord, forgive me. It was my fault. I led him on. He who has been so good and respectful of me. Who only thinks about my interest. He loves and he loves me so much.
Forgive me. Lord, he is a good man. He is loving and he is caring. All I want is to be with him.
Yet, he does not have yet much money. But You will bless him with all his abilities and the things that he can do. Help me to help him. Help me Lord, please.
Lord, is this the right time to get married?
Help me to answer these questions with wisdom and clarity coming from You.
1. Are you ready to give your life away?
The answer: I am thinking that I may not be able to watch the musicals that I can watch in a heartbeat, buy the things I want to buy among others. I will just think of his interest and the things that will benefit him. Lord, will you bless me this way? It is not all about me anymore, but there will always be someone I will consider before buying somethings or doing something. I will also forget my own family if we will be married because being together and sharing our lives together is what marriage is all about. To bless another person. Lord, You bless me with more because You want me to bless others more. Being married will help me deal and come to terms with my own selfishness. Yes Lord. I am ready.
2. Do you have both parents' blessing?
Yes. They both have and in fact have been pushing us to get married as soon as possible for us to have our own children. Yes, in this area though sometimes I feel like my father does not approve of him. But it is just according to his own whims and selfishness. But there's really no problem in this area.
3. Is there more to your relationship than physical attraction/affection?
To this I have to answer other sub questions:
a. Do you see eye to eye on spiritual matters?
Yes. He is more like my spiritual leader. He teaches me to go back to God whenever I would have a problem. He leads me to the Lord. He is like that. He is really like that. He is more faithful than I am actually.
b. Do you enjoy each other's company?
Yes, I do. Spending time with him is one of the loveliest times in my life. I don't get bored. He teaches me and tells me stories about life, his life and everything he has gone through. Though I am bothered at times for he does not ask too much about mine. But you see, we had different circles and views before we met. He did not finish college, I am on my way to finishing my master's so in this area we don't meet. But we can talk about money matters, how to start a business, rearing children and other essential topics about life and how to live it.
c. Are you challenged by the other person?
My cooking and homemaking skills. He's really a genius at them. Hehehehe...
d. Do you trust them fully with your heart?
Yes. Though when it comes to providing for all my needs and some wants, I cannot. You know, I earn more than he does. But God will deal with us in this area. I know he will not hurt me nor my pride. He will be good to me.
e. Are they safe?
Yes. He is a very safe and loving person.
f. Are you in the same orbit about future expectations?
Yes. Both of us would like to have our own business someday. We are going to work on that.
g.Do they have discipline?
Yes. Especially when it comes to finances. He is such a cheapskate sometimes. But that's one strong area he has that I am a bit weak at.
4. Is the timing right?
Yes. I am regular in my job, he is on his way and he is in fact praying for his appraisal in his work. He has a job though not really high paying but he really has a job and he can somehow provide for me but I will help him. I will be his partner.
5. Would you marry this person if he/she never changed?
Yes. He is not perfect, so am I. As long as he respects me and loves me and draws me towards God then we can sort out our differences and talk about things so we can deal with them fairly and effectively. All by God's grace.
Lord, I am sorry for those times that I led him to commit sin. Those compromises that led us to go astray from You. Lord, this time that we have should be a time to prepare so that we can be together and we can be a blessing to each other.
I love him Father and indeed loving is not a feeling but actually an action and a choice.
Forgive me Lord. Forgive us and thank You so much.
Amen.
Lord, forgive me. It was my fault. I led him on. He who has been so good and respectful of me. Who only thinks about my interest. He loves and he loves me so much.
Forgive me. Lord, he is a good man. He is loving and he is caring. All I want is to be with him.
Yet, he does not have yet much money. But You will bless him with all his abilities and the things that he can do. Help me to help him. Help me Lord, please.
Lord, is this the right time to get married?
Help me to answer these questions with wisdom and clarity coming from You.
1. Are you ready to give your life away?
The answer: I am thinking that I may not be able to watch the musicals that I can watch in a heartbeat, buy the things I want to buy among others. I will just think of his interest and the things that will benefit him. Lord, will you bless me this way? It is not all about me anymore, but there will always be someone I will consider before buying somethings or doing something. I will also forget my own family if we will be married because being together and sharing our lives together is what marriage is all about. To bless another person. Lord, You bless me with more because You want me to bless others more. Being married will help me deal and come to terms with my own selfishness. Yes Lord. I am ready.
2. Do you have both parents' blessing?
Yes. They both have and in fact have been pushing us to get married as soon as possible for us to have our own children. Yes, in this area though sometimes I feel like my father does not approve of him. But it is just according to his own whims and selfishness. But there's really no problem in this area.
3. Is there more to your relationship than physical attraction/affection?
To this I have to answer other sub questions:
a. Do you see eye to eye on spiritual matters?
Yes. He is more like my spiritual leader. He teaches me to go back to God whenever I would have a problem. He leads me to the Lord. He is like that. He is really like that. He is more faithful than I am actually.
b. Do you enjoy each other's company?
Yes, I do. Spending time with him is one of the loveliest times in my life. I don't get bored. He teaches me and tells me stories about life, his life and everything he has gone through. Though I am bothered at times for he does not ask too much about mine. But you see, we had different circles and views before we met. He did not finish college, I am on my way to finishing my master's so in this area we don't meet. But we can talk about money matters, how to start a business, rearing children and other essential topics about life and how to live it.
c. Are you challenged by the other person?
My cooking and homemaking skills. He's really a genius at them. Hehehehe...
d. Do you trust them fully with your heart?
Yes. Though when it comes to providing for all my needs and some wants, I cannot. You know, I earn more than he does. But God will deal with us in this area. I know he will not hurt me nor my pride. He will be good to me.
e. Are they safe?
Yes. He is a very safe and loving person.
f. Are you in the same orbit about future expectations?
Yes. Both of us would like to have our own business someday. We are going to work on that.
g.Do they have discipline?
Yes. Especially when it comes to finances. He is such a cheapskate sometimes. But that's one strong area he has that I am a bit weak at.
4. Is the timing right?
Yes. I am regular in my job, he is on his way and he is in fact praying for his appraisal in his work. He has a job though not really high paying but he really has a job and he can somehow provide for me but I will help him. I will be his partner.
5. Would you marry this person if he/she never changed?
Yes. He is not perfect, so am I. As long as he respects me and loves me and draws me towards God then we can sort out our differences and talk about things so we can deal with them fairly and effectively. All by God's grace.
Lord, I am sorry for those times that I led him to commit sin. Those compromises that led us to go astray from You. Lord, this time that we have should be a time to prepare so that we can be together and we can be a blessing to each other.
I love him Father and indeed loving is not a feeling but actually an action and a choice.
Forgive me Lord. Forgive us and thank You so much.
Amen.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Money Matters
Dear Lord,
I am worried right now. Worried about his attitude regarding money. He does not keep his promises when it comes to paying his debts which is not a good attitude of course. I don't know. I think I should talk to him about that because maybe that's the reason why You are not blessing him that much.
I still needed to remind him about his debt. Sometimes I feel like I need to shoulder other expenses for the both of us. It feels like I need to really share with him all the expenses. Is this the right thing?
He has a lower salary compared to mine. I don't know.
Can I trust him when it comes to our wedding expenses? Lord, please give me wisdom on this. Do I need to talk to him about it? How?
Lord, I will wait until December 28 if he would keep his word and pay me the money he owes me. Then I will start talking with him regarding my concerns. Lord, please give me wisdom. Please give us wisdom. Amen.
I am worried right now. Worried about his attitude regarding money. He does not keep his promises when it comes to paying his debts which is not a good attitude of course. I don't know. I think I should talk to him about that because maybe that's the reason why You are not blessing him that much.
I still needed to remind him about his debt. Sometimes I feel like I need to shoulder other expenses for the both of us. It feels like I need to really share with him all the expenses. Is this the right thing?
He has a lower salary compared to mine. I don't know.
Can I trust him when it comes to our wedding expenses? Lord, please give me wisdom on this. Do I need to talk to him about it? How?
Lord, I will wait until December 28 if he would keep his word and pay me the money he owes me. Then I will start talking with him regarding my concerns. Lord, please give me wisdom. Please give us wisdom. Amen.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Becoming Abusive
Dear Lord,
I have been abusing my boyfriend. He has been enduring my mood swings, my threats and everything for the past four months already.
I always wanted him to tell me where he is and what he is doing. I sometimes verbally abuse him and do things that a christian woman should not do.
Forgive me for not honoring my fiance. Forgive me if I have become so controlling and so abusive to him.
Lord, help me to bless him. And love him truly. Help me.
My bad treatment of him is rooted from the abuses I have had in the past. From the abandonment that I experienced from my own father to the sexual abuses I experienced from my grandfathers and the emotionally and sexually abusive relationships I had in the past. Lord, help me to forgive those people so that I can enjoy my relationship now.
With a man who lacks much finances but who has a big heart and soul.
Lord, I want to become a blessing to him and to our future family together. Help me. Help me overcome myself.
Lord, may You send someone who can help me with my issues. I want to become vulnerable and soft. I want to trust You with all my heart and I also want to trust him.
Lord, reveal the other areas in me that You need to cut.
I thought that giving him sexual favors will make him happy for that was what I believed deep inside me. For some men in my life before would ask for those favors in exchange for the seemingly love and affection I wanted from them. Things that I scarcely received from my own father.
I trusted men but they betrayed me. My own father abandoned me when I was young. Though he would come home from time to time still he feels so distant from me. The last closest encounter I had with him was when I was six years old. Then that was it.
I looked for love from the wrong places. I trusted my grandfathers before to take care of me but then they destroyed my trust and abused my innocent mind by molesting me sexually. I did not like it at first but then I felt the wrong pleasures those abuses gave me. That is why right now I am having a wrong view on sex and love. Add to that the wrong relationships I had in the past where they would also touched my body in the wrong way, I would simply give in because I was afraid of losing their love and affection that actually were lies only.\
Then I was blamed by my own mother. When I suffered those abuses I was blamed. I have been suffering from this in silence. And now that I am with a good man, I just can't seem to really dig his love for me for I have become accustomed with the wrong kind of treatment already.
Lord, I know You can heal me. I don't want to get married having these baggage in me because I want to become a blessing to my husband and my future family. Lord, help me to fully forgive those people and to just move on and focus what I have right now.
Lord, only You can heal me. My abusive tendencies. Help me to find a good counselor Lord who can help me with my struggles. Help me Lord.
Thank You Father. Thank You for I am on my path to freedom because of You.
Amen.
I have been abusing my boyfriend. He has been enduring my mood swings, my threats and everything for the past four months already.
I always wanted him to tell me where he is and what he is doing. I sometimes verbally abuse him and do things that a christian woman should not do.
Forgive me for not honoring my fiance. Forgive me if I have become so controlling and so abusive to him.
Lord, help me to bless him. And love him truly. Help me.
My bad treatment of him is rooted from the abuses I have had in the past. From the abandonment that I experienced from my own father to the sexual abuses I experienced from my grandfathers and the emotionally and sexually abusive relationships I had in the past. Lord, help me to forgive those people so that I can enjoy my relationship now.
With a man who lacks much finances but who has a big heart and soul.
Lord, I want to become a blessing to him and to our future family together. Help me. Help me overcome myself.
Lord, may You send someone who can help me with my issues. I want to become vulnerable and soft. I want to trust You with all my heart and I also want to trust him.
Lord, reveal the other areas in me that You need to cut.
I thought that giving him sexual favors will make him happy for that was what I believed deep inside me. For some men in my life before would ask for those favors in exchange for the seemingly love and affection I wanted from them. Things that I scarcely received from my own father.
I trusted men but they betrayed me. My own father abandoned me when I was young. Though he would come home from time to time still he feels so distant from me. The last closest encounter I had with him was when I was six years old. Then that was it.
I looked for love from the wrong places. I trusted my grandfathers before to take care of me but then they destroyed my trust and abused my innocent mind by molesting me sexually. I did not like it at first but then I felt the wrong pleasures those abuses gave me. That is why right now I am having a wrong view on sex and love. Add to that the wrong relationships I had in the past where they would also touched my body in the wrong way, I would simply give in because I was afraid of losing their love and affection that actually were lies only.\
Then I was blamed by my own mother. When I suffered those abuses I was blamed. I have been suffering from this in silence. And now that I am with a good man, I just can't seem to really dig his love for me for I have become accustomed with the wrong kind of treatment already.
Lord, I know You can heal me. I don't want to get married having these baggage in me because I want to become a blessing to my husband and my future family. Lord, help me to fully forgive those people and to just move on and focus what I have right now.
Lord, only You can heal me. My abusive tendencies. Help me to find a good counselor Lord who can help me with my struggles. Help me Lord.
Thank You Father. Thank You for I am on my path to freedom because of You.
Amen.
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