On The Way To Marriage

Dear Lord,

Lord, forgive me. It was my fault. I led him on. He who has been so good and respectful of me. Who only thinks about my interest. He loves and he loves me so much.

Forgive me. Lord, he is a good man. He is loving and he is caring. All I want is to be with him.

Yet, he does not have yet much money. But You will bless him with all his abilities and the things that he can do. Help me to help him. Help me Lord, please.

Lord, is this the right time to get married?

Help me to answer these questions with wisdom and clarity coming from You.

1. Are you ready to give your life away?

The answer: I am thinking that I may not be able to watch the musicals that I can watch in a heartbeat, buy the things I want to buy among others. I will just think of his interest and the things that will benefit him. Lord, will you bless me this way? It is not all about me anymore, but there will always be someone I will consider before buying somethings or doing something. I will also forget my own family if we will be married because being together and sharing our lives together is what marriage is all about. To bless another person. Lord, You bless me with more because You want me to bless others more. Being married will help me deal and come to terms with my own selfishness. Yes Lord. I am ready.

2.  Do you have both parents' blessing?

Yes. They both have and in fact have been pushing us to get married as soon as possible for us to have our own children. Yes, in this area though sometimes I feel like my father does not approve of him. But it is just according to his own whims and selfishness. But there's really no problem in this area.

3. Is there more to your relationship than physical attraction/affection?

To this I have to answer other sub questions:
a. Do you see eye to eye on spiritual matters?
Yes. He is more like my spiritual leader. He teaches me to go back to God whenever I would have a problem. He leads me to the Lord. He is like that. He is really like that. He is more faithful than I am actually. 
b. Do you enjoy each other's company? 
Yes, I do. Spending time with him is one of the loveliest times in my life. I don't get bored. He teaches me and tells me stories about life, his life and everything he has gone through. Though I am bothered at times for he does not ask too much about mine. But you see, we had different circles and views before we met. He did not finish college, I am on my way to finishing my master's so in this area we don't meet. But we can talk about money matters, how to start a business, rearing children and other essential topics about life and how to live it.
c. Are you challenged by the other person?
My cooking and homemaking skills. He's really a genius at them. Hehehehe...
d. Do you trust them fully with your heart? 
Yes. Though when it comes to providing for all my needs and some wants, I cannot. You know, I earn more than he does. But God will deal with us in this area. I know he will not hurt me nor my pride. He will be good to me. 
e. Are they safe? 
Yes. He is a very safe and loving person.
f. Are you in the same orbit about future expectations?
Yes. Both of us would like to have our own business someday. We are going to work on that.
g.Do they have discipline?
Yes. Especially when it comes to finances. He is such a cheapskate sometimes. But that's one strong area he has that I am a bit weak at.

4. Is the timing right?
Yes. I am regular in my job, he is on his way and he is in fact praying for his appraisal in his work. He has a job though not really high paying but he really has a job and he can somehow provide for me but I will help him. I will be his partner.

5. Would you marry this person if he/she never changed?
Yes. He is not perfect, so am I. As long as he respects me and loves me and draws me towards God then we can sort out our differences and talk about things so we can deal with them fairly and effectively. All by God's grace.

Lord, I am sorry for those times that I led him to commit sin. Those compromises that led us to go astray from You. Lord, this time that we have should be a time to prepare so that we can be together and we can be a blessing to each other.

I love him Father and indeed loving is not a feeling but actually an action and a choice.

Forgive me Lord. Forgive us and thank You so much.

Amen.