Monday, October 31, 2011

November 1, 2011

Dear Lord,

Good morning again. Thank You for this life again. For lending this back to me. Lord, I am sorry I think I did not use my time so wisely yesterday. I just watched and watched those movies from Hallmark. Lord, they were good movies and made me wish that one day You would also give me a very good husband. Lord, I am still praying for that wonderful person.

Lord, my prayer for today has something to do with it. Lord, I know it is my fault but I could not help but check on William's FB page. Lord, I know he is not the right person for me but sometimes I still have this a bit sensation of pain each time I would remember him. I don't know. Maybe I am just romanticizing a love that I lost. Lord, You know before how I felt about him, how he was just the person I could ever like. How I wanted him to be a part of my life. Yet things did not work out the way I wanted them to. I ended up feeling insecure and had a low self-esteem because of my experiences with him. Lord, I thank You because You helped me redeem back myself again.

Lord, when it comes to him I just feel insecure. Maybe because of my status and his. But I think there's nothing wrong with my education, with my socio-economic status and other things. These are just the world's standards. And probably his. You wouldn't want me to be married with a guy with a probable thinking like that. (^^,)

Lord, I pray that I can fully move on now. That there will be no bitterness whatsoever when I think of him. That there will be not even the slightest hint of pain each time he passes my mind. All I want to remember are the good memories. There were also those lovely times. I thank God for those moments that You let me have with him even if we never became us.

Father, I know everything happens indeed for a reason and there is always a time for everything. You know when to give and You know when to take. My business is just to trust You and just obey You. That's all. Lord, I depend on Your Word and I trust that You will give me hope and a future. Father, thank You so much.

Lord, I am still compelled to pray for my brother, Jego. Lord, I appeal to You to please help him as he looks for a good job that is just suitable for him and his personality. Lord, being a teacher is not that easy. It takes a strong spirit and a patient heart. Lord, You know his nature. You know his limitations. I just lift him up to You. Be gracious to him, Father. I lift him up to You that he may find what You have in store for him. But first, it is important that he establish a very good relationship with You.

Lord, You know better than I. I just trust in You. Kindly remove any trace of doubt or question inside my head. Bad things happen indeed to other people specially Christians but I pray that those bad things do not cause me to become unfaithful but rather be more strong in my faith. Thank You Father. Thank You for this lovely day. Amen.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

October 31, 2011

Dear Lord,

Good morning. Lord, thank You again for this lovely day and morning. Thank You for lending me back my life again. Thank You for the realization that time indeed is a resource so I must use it accordingly and properly. That I can work again for money giving it back to myself but with time, I could no longer take back what has been lost already. So by Your grace and the wisdom coming from You, I am going to make much of it today. I will live only for today.

Father, I am still praying for my accountability partner, someone who can encourage me and lift me up as I walk with You. Yet Lord, when I read the testimony from a member of settingcaptivesfree.com, I have realized that maybe she had a point saying that it is a blessing that for now, You have not yet given me any accountability partner nor many christian friends because this is the season that You only wanted me to rely on You and be closer to You, making You my real best friend. Lord, I believe You are just teaching me something as I go through this phase of being just reliant on You. Lord, please do not let me in any way become self-reliant to the point of already becoming so arrogant thinking I could do things on my own. Rather, as the days go by I am feeling strong and independent, let me be reminded that my strength only comes from You and my freedom as well. Everything just indeed comes from You and I can't take any credit for anything.

Lord, I am still relying on You. For strength, for freedom from sin, for wisdom in everything. Let me be reminded of Your teachings as I go about my days. Forgive me of my sins, for times when I shortchanged other people of what I should be giving them, for compromising and for feeding the lust of my flesh. Thank You Father for Your forgiveness and grace.

Lord, thank You again for this day. May this day become a productive and lovely one as I use this for Your glory and honor. Thank You Lord, amen.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

October 30, 2011

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You again for this lovely day that You gave me. Thank You that I am still alive though i can feel some muscle pain. Maybe something's wrong with me, I am just tired and yes, really tired what with all the work and everything that we did these past weeks. Thank You for this lovely week-long vacation that I am going to have.

Father, forgive me of all my sins yesterday. It started with all those unclean thoughts that I had inside of my mind again. Images were running inside my brain and I must admit that I felt pleasure when I thought of those things but dirty afterwards. Maybe because I was stressed out yesterday and I was running against time my body wanted to ease some of the discomfort I was feeling. I am so sorry Lord.

Lord, yesterday I was somehow disappointed with the response of a friend I was inviting to be my accountability partner. She was not really willing. I know she was just joking when she told me that I should find somebody else. Lord, how could I do that when there's no one around? Someone that I know of to become my accountability partner? Lord, this battle alone is not easy. Lord, I cannot do this all alone. I need to have some christian friends to lift me up and guide me. I will also guide them and we will lift one another up. Lord, there is no one. No one in my life right now to become my real christian friend, someone I can be accountable with.

I am so sad. I cannot bear all my burdens all alone. I need people in my life to build me up and I to build them up as well. Sadly, there's no one to be found. I don't want to go to another church again. I am staying in Imus. Show me the people Lord. Show them to me and let me find them Father.

Lord, help me fight my battles. Help me as I really make the resolve not to go too often to the library anymore and to fool around there with that person. Help me Father when it is inevitable for me to go there, to fight the temptation to enjoy and encourage his advances. I don't really need his attention Father nor anything coming from him. All I need in my life is my relationship with You and that's all that matters.

Thank You Lord, somehow I am feeling better now. Lord, I am praying for that young man that I saw in the bus yesterday. Lord, I wish I had been more generous and did not think about the cost that I would give up to help. Lord, I pray that that person whoever he was may have a good life and may he get to know You as well. Lord, I am lifting up to You that person. I am also praying for my friends, for Sette and her child and Ynnah and Ianne as well that they may get to know You also. Lord, transform my life and make it a blessing for them so that I can get to pull them towards You. But Lord, send me people also to help me grow and be accountable with as I walk with You.

Father, thank You very much for all Your blessings. Thank You so much.

Blessy

Friday, October 28, 2011

October 29, 2011

Dear Lord,

I am not feeling well right now. My heart is sad and my spirit is low. I am down. My spirit is grieving. Lord, is this what You call the grieving of the soul for doing what is not right?

Lord, first thing was when I freaked out and shouted at my co-teachers. It was not good. Lord even though I already said sorry to them I still feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. If they were "senior" teachers, would I still do the same?

That was pride and being at out of control at its finest. I just wanted to lash out at anyone yesterday for being frustrated with what was happening. I feel sad about my arrogant attitude. Professing christian and there I was? Indeed, I am feeling this sadness right now.

Then I went to the library again. Of course he was there and i must admit that I am really attracted to him. Lord, I must admit that I enjoy his attention and flirtatious behavior though this is terribly wrong. No wonder I really feel this sadness inside me. I kept on promising that I would not go there from time to time anymore but there I was talking to him, asking him for favors etc., etc.

Lord, I am sorry. There were also lustful thoughts again though I warded them off strongly. I am sorry Father. I am really sorry. Please forgive me and help me to the right path again. I am also sorry Lord if I acted like a complete jerk last night with my co-teachers when we were together..

I am sorry. Really Father.Help me change my ways and help me as I walk my faith. Father, I am still praying for an accountability partner, someone who could help me in my walk with You. I am earnestly praying for more christian friends so that they can lift me up. Thank You Lord. Thank You for convicting my heart and prodding me to change my ways. Thank You Lord. Amen.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

October 27, 2011

Dear Lord,

Lord, I am so sorry. Now I know why You have wanted me to "amputate" fully anything or anyone that is hindering me from fully obeying You. Lord, yesterday You know how I enjoyed again that person's attention and how I went again from time to time to that place. Now, thoughts that have something to do with lust are starting to get inside my brain again. Lord, I am so sorry. I just enjoyed the attention he has been giving me. Yet, I must cut it off so that I could walk in purity with You. Lord, help me in this area specially with men. Each time I would meet someone that I have feelings for, I would have thoughts inside me that You know are not good. Lord, help me to treat the men around me with brotherly love and care and not with any flirtatious behavior. Lord, forgive me. You know my actions and the motives of my heart. Please forgive me.

I was also exhilarated last night specially when I looked at the mirror and people told me that I was pretty. Vanity is creeping inside my heart again. Lord, You know I was not used to be called as such until nowadays specially when I lost weight. Lord, please cleanse my heart in this area as well. I don't want to be so vain anymore and if ever I have this beautiful face, may this give You glory and honor always not for me.

Lord, indeed the enemy attacks subtly. He knows the spots.Lord, please give me strength as I have my day to day struggles. Just help me focus on You. Lord, I will just stay in my place, I will stay put there and will not pass by that area. Lord, help me as I make my resolves to just follow You and give honor to You. Thank You Father God. Amen.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

October 26, 2011

Dear Lord,

Thank You again for this day. Thank You Lord for reminding me to take away everything that stops me from completely obeying You and causing me to fall over and over again.'

Lord, I am asking now for Your guidance and strength as I go about this day. Help me to fight off any temptation that comes my way. Father, show me the things that I need to "amputate" so that my life will be pleasing in Your sight.

All my life, the devil has deceived me that love is equal to sex. He has drilled that thought into my brain. Lord, thank You as I look back and remember everything that happened to me in the past, I would like to thank You and show You my gratitude for saving me and for helping me get out of those gutter-like moments. Thank You,Father.
Now, all I want is to obey You and to follow You. To just simply live my life for You and take away everything in me that puts myself first. Father God, I am not going to be complacent. Help me for today, to fight off every temptation and to live according to how You have always wanted me to live it. Thank You Lord, amen.

Monday, October 24, 2011

October 25, 2011

Dear Lord,

I want to thank You for the grace You have been giving me as regards my sexual purity struggles. Lord, I can feel the changes in me and I thank You for those. Yet Lord, there is another area I haven't yet fully submitted to You until now.

Lord, I want to thank You for helping me lose a significant amount of weight. Thank You very much for this leaner body that I have. Yet Lord, something is happening to me everyday. I noticed that I have been consuming again and eating lots of sweets and other calorie-laden, trans fat- filled foodies that are not good for the body. I am trying to compensate by moving a lot and exercising. Lord, exercise is helpful but so is proper dieting. Lord, it seems like I am losing my control again when food is involved.

Lord, I am giving up to You this area of my life. I know there is a deeper longing inside me that needs to be fulfilled that is why I have been using food as my comfort. Lord, help me and please be the One to fill me up each day.

Lord, please help me gain a proper perspective on food. Help me to control my cravings and help me to eat healthy again. Lord, I offer You this struggle of mine. Help me Lord, Amen.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

October 24, 2011

Dear Lord,

I am tempted to compromise. Compromise with my job, with the TOS and the scores of the children. Lord, I don't want to those things. Because of my folly, here I am trying to find my way out. Help me Father. Because of the wrong decisions and actions I made and did in the past, I am getting the consequences now. Help me Father.

Lord, thank You so much for this day. Help me Lord as I go about this day. Lord, I lift up to You my family, my father, mother and all my siblings, my uncle and our dogs that You always please take care of them. Be with them in every way.

Lord, I am also praying for my friends, for Daisy that You please take good care of her in her job and bless her in every way. May You also answer her prayers and give her the desires of her heart.

Lord, I am also praying for that wonderful person whoever he is Lord. Please always take good care of him and love him. Protect him as well. Lord, I know soon we will meet but not in my time but in Your time. You always know better than I.

May this day become a blessing not just to me but to others as well.

Thank You again Lord for this life. Amen.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

October 23, 2011

Dear Lord,

Lord, I just woke up with this feeling of sadness again. Father, I don't know why. I just could not help it. I am still thinking of that special person, who he is or does he really exist. I am sad because until now, I haven't yet found him. Or he has not yet found me or will we ever find each other.

Lord, I am sad because other girls yesterday while we were in the mall, I saw that they were with their partners while I was with my mom. I enjoyed my time with mom but still I felt this longing, this insecurity inside that until now, no one has yet found me. I have been trying to make myself beautiful and attractive to no avail. No one has even a crush on me.

Lord, help me with this feeling now. I don't want to feel this sense of inadequacy now. Lord, may not this negative emotion hinder me from serving You well and may not this become a reason for me to act stupidly and make a fool out of myself again.

Lord, for the millionth time, I will still ask You, "Am I really going to get married or will I be living a life of singlehood?" I just want to know Father. Lord, whatever Your answer will be, help me Lord to accept them and just live in them with thankfulness and contentment. Lord, may You also help me as I struggle with thoughts about lovelife. Help me, Father. Amen.

Friday, October 21, 2011

October 22, 2011

Dear Lord,

You know what is happening in our family right now. All because of what our father did. And because I was not so careful hiding it. Everything indeed will come to light and now it badly hurt our mother.

I don't know Lord how to ease her pain but Lord I am not You so You are the only One who can do it for her. Help my parents Lord. Heal and restore their badly and severely damage relationship. Help them Lord to work things out and work in them too.

Father, You don't want discord nor division in the family. This is our struggle. Lord, just help my parents. Help them. I am sad yet I know I can easily turn to You for wisdom and for strength. Help my family. Restore my family. Work in the hearts of my parents, in Jesus' name.

Thank You Lord. I thank You for Your forgiveness. Forgive me Father for all the wrong things I said yesterday, for being so talkative that almost a huge percent of the words that came out of my mouth did not glorify You. I am accountable to my words and there's no one to blame but me. I am sorry. Also, I am sorry for making a fool out of myself with my crush who You know is an unbeliever. I need to receive some slap on the head. But of course, You are not resorting to that. Lord, help me to fight over that sin and flee from that temptation.

Thank You Lord for touching my heart today. I lift up to You this day and the things that I will do.

Help me to use and manage my time and energy wisely today. Amen.