October 30, 2011

Dear Lord,

Lord, thank You again for this lovely day that You gave me. Thank You that I am still alive though i can feel some muscle pain. Maybe something's wrong with me, I am just tired and yes, really tired what with all the work and everything that we did these past weeks. Thank You for this lovely week-long vacation that I am going to have.

Father, forgive me of all my sins yesterday. It started with all those unclean thoughts that I had inside of my mind again. Images were running inside my brain and I must admit that I felt pleasure when I thought of those things but dirty afterwards. Maybe because I was stressed out yesterday and I was running against time my body wanted to ease some of the discomfort I was feeling. I am so sorry Lord.

Lord, yesterday I was somehow disappointed with the response of a friend I was inviting to be my accountability partner. She was not really willing. I know she was just joking when she told me that I should find somebody else. Lord, how could I do that when there's no one around? Someone that I know of to become my accountability partner? Lord, this battle alone is not easy. Lord, I cannot do this all alone. I need to have some christian friends to lift me up and guide me. I will also guide them and we will lift one another up. Lord, there is no one. No one in my life right now to become my real christian friend, someone I can be accountable with.

I am so sad. I cannot bear all my burdens all alone. I need people in my life to build me up and I to build them up as well. Sadly, there's no one to be found. I don't want to go to another church again. I am staying in Imus. Show me the people Lord. Show them to me and let me find them Father.

Lord, help me fight my battles. Help me as I really make the resolve not to go too often to the library anymore and to fool around there with that person. Help me Father when it is inevitable for me to go there, to fight the temptation to enjoy and encourage his advances. I don't really need his attention Father nor anything coming from him. All I need in my life is my relationship with You and that's all that matters.

Thank You Lord, somehow I am feeling better now. Lord, I am praying for that young man that I saw in the bus yesterday. Lord, I wish I had been more generous and did not think about the cost that I would give up to help. Lord, I pray that that person whoever he was may have a good life and may he get to know You as well. Lord, I am lifting up to You that person. I am also praying for my friends, for Sette and her child and Ynnah and Ianne as well that they may get to know You also. Lord, transform my life and make it a blessing for them so that I can get to pull them towards You. But Lord, send me people also to help me grow and be accountable with as I walk with You.

Father, thank You very much for all Your blessings. Thank You so much.

Blessy