Dear Lord,
I am not feeling well right now. My heart is sad and my spirit is low. I am down. My spirit is grieving. Lord, is this what You call the grieving of the soul for doing what is not right?
Lord, first thing was when I freaked out and shouted at my co-teachers. It was not good. Lord even though I already said sorry to them I still feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. If they were "senior" teachers, would I still do the same?
That was pride and being at out of control at its finest. I just wanted to lash out at anyone yesterday for being frustrated with what was happening. I feel sad about my arrogant attitude. Professing christian and there I was? Indeed, I am feeling this sadness right now.
Then I went to the library again. Of course he was there and i must admit that I am really attracted to him. Lord, I must admit that I enjoy his attention and flirtatious behavior though this is terribly wrong. No wonder I really feel this sadness inside me. I kept on promising that I would not go there from time to time anymore but there I was talking to him, asking him for favors etc., etc.
Lord, I am sorry. There were also lustful thoughts again though I warded them off strongly. I am sorry Father. I am really sorry. Please forgive me and help me to the right path again. I am also sorry Lord if I acted like a complete jerk last night with my co-teachers when we were together..
I am sorry. Really Father.Help me change my ways and help me as I walk my faith. Father, I am still praying for an accountability partner, someone who could help me in my walk with You. I am earnestly praying for more christian friends so that they can lift me up. Thank You Lord. Thank You for convicting my heart and prodding me to change my ways. Thank You Lord. Amen.
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