Deep Hurts Unraveled

Dear Lord,

I am asking for Your forgiveness and for Your healing. I have deep-seated anger inside me towards my own father and my mother though I cannot admit it.

I am angry with my father because of his abandonment, his weakness and his absence in my life for many years. I miss those days when I would still be on his shoulders, he would carry me and he would be with me. But of course, he had to leave for many times.

Then my mother. Of course she has her issues about him and she is letting me be mad at him when in fact she has to protect him especially from us, his children. Lord, I feel so wounded, so down right now.

I have become so disrespectful and so unloving towards them, towards my own father. Forgive me. Even the man I am with right now is being victimized by my own attitude and behavior.

I think I am loving him, looking up to him like he is my father, not the man I really want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I easily get mad at him for he cannot be the father I have been longing to have. But he is a good man. He loves me in the best ways that he can.

Father, help me to come to terms with my feelings. Help me to forgive my father and my mother fully. Help me to trust my fiance and love him for the man that he is. Heal my heart and help me towards the road to forgiveness.

I feel ashamed. I feel guilty about my behavior. I feel ashamed for my actions. Forgive me. Forgive me and heal me from these hurts so I can also love fully and with full trust.

I believe there's nothing that You cannot do or heal. I am praying for healing and for guidance. I am asking for forgiveness. Help me. Help me Lord. Please. Amen.