Still Anxious

Dear Lord,

Lord, right now I am still feeling anxious about a lot of things in my life. About the people around me, about the life I am going to have a year from now.

Lord forgive me for being unfaithful. I have lots of things in mind like I have this feeling that You will not bless me because I have been a bad daughter, I have been a bad child to my parents. Forgive me Lord. I still cannot forgive myself for what I did.

Then there are those people I call my friends. Lord, I am still struggling with my relationship with them. Lord, I think they have not been good influences in my life anymore. I think I have not been using my own judgment and the wisdom You gave me as regards my dealing with them. Lord, what do I do? I still want to be good to them but I want to slowly separate myself from them for they have not been helping me at all anymore.

I have started to say bad words again, to bad mouth other people behind my back, to say things that a true and real child of You will never say. My behavior has changed a lot.

Also, I think my mother who has always been an angry and bitter woman has influenced me a lot in a negative way. Lord, what do I do? I feel like I am a broken jar, so shattered into pieces.

Then there's the house that we want to buy. Lord, I really want to have our own house together. My fiance and I. Yet, the possibilities around in relation to our salary seem to be so bleak already. Yet, Lord I will still pray that You will give us what we need in Your own time.

Lord, I am also praying for our relationship. May we be in the path of purity beginning today. Forgive us if we had been so impure in our relationship. Forgive us Father God. Forgive us.

Lord, I could never tell what the future will bring. The possibilities. I could never know the things that could happen in the long run. All I know is I should trust You. Should fully trust You and Your provision. Though the odds around me, the concrete things that surround me seem to be so hopeless. Yet, I will still trust in You.

Give us wisdom Lord. Give us the grace Lord and the provision. I will put my trust in You. You will be in control of everything. Thank You Father God. Amen.

BEE