Strength to Forgive

Dear Lord,

I am in deep pain right now. It just hurts me so much knowing how my earthly father thinks and feels towards me. I don't know but Lord, I still hate him and I actually don't want to see him ever again.

Yet, what can I do? I live in his house. Sadly, I cannot even own this house for myself. It feels like I am a stranger, an outsider in this family with the way he he has been treating us, with the way he has been treating me.

Lord, I am deeply hurt. I want to retaliate, I want to hurt him deeper but I cannot because I fear You. Lord, help me to forgive. Help me to forgive. Help me to accept without pain the fact that he could never love me the way he should, the way I wanted to be loved and accepted by him. Help me to accept the fact that he could never love me fully. Help me to come to terms with this feeling, with my attitude towards him, with my life with him.

Sadly, I feel that both of my parents do not love me as much. Yet, I am thankful to You for You gave me a man who loves me so much. Who loves me wholeheartedly, who loves me for who I am. I am thankful for he knows exactly how to love me. Lord, thank You for his love yet I am more thankful for Your love.

Your the only One I can run to. You're the only I can fully trust and depend on. Yet, I just put You last in my life most of the time. Help me Father God. Help me to always put You first in everything that I do. Lord, please change my heart. So I can obey You and love You more than anything else, more than anyone else.

Lord, help me. Help me to forgive and to just love and respect my parents regardless if they have been good or not. Really, wounded people hurt others too.

Help me also to actually never fully mind the offense of my father towards me. Help me also to fully trust men especially the man I am going to marry. Help me, Father God.

Lord, I am praying for my attitude to change. Lord, help me to come to terms with the negative issues in my life. Help me, Father God. I am begging You, please help me.

Help me Father to understand Your word. Help me to keep them in my heart. Forgive me Lord if I had negative thoughts regarding my fiance. Help me Father God to love him more the way You want me to love, respect and care for him.

Thank You Father God. Amen.