Sunday, November 20, 2011

November 21, 2011

Dear Lord,

Thank You again for this lovely morning. Thank You for lending me back my life Father God. Lord, thank You so much.

Lord, I am still thinking about him. Lord, I decided last night to let go of him. But then I am still thinking about him. Lord, I will just let go. Let go of him, all my dreams about him in it, everything. Lord, I will not pretend that something did not happen for something really happened in me all in the span of a week or so. Yet, I must and will have to let go for nothing happens now. Yet Lord, You see the future ahead. You see what is going to happen in the future. I will just let go of him, of everything about him. But then Lord, I have noticed that all throughout my time that involved him, I did not think nor remember about William. He was completely out of the picture.

Lord, help me as I go through this sadness right now. This feeling of rejection. This feeling of inadequacy, this feeling that I was not good enough for him to like me. Lord, this is just the enemy's taunting. Lord, help me please. Forgive me also for I was not able to go to the children's ministry yesterday. Forgive me Lord. Lord, I am also praying that this time around that I transferred to Alabang, my decision will become a really wise one. Lord, may I have good Christian friends who would really help me. Lord, I thank You for the company of Ate Rachel and Ate Hazel yesterday. I enjoyed them a lot. Lord, may we become closer and may our lives become a blessing to each one. Lord, I am also thankful that I was able to see Kit yesterday there. Lord, I know there are no accidents in life. Everything happens for a reason. Lord, teach me what I needed to know regarding what's behind our meeting.Sometimes, I just wish that we had not met anymore. That he did not become a part of my life anymore. That I just simply live without knowing about his existence. But You have Your plans, Father. Just like the reason why I met William before, why I met the others before. They helped me become a better person. Lord, may my disappointment as regards him be not put to waste. There is a lesson behind this and yes one of them is Your admonition not to "awaken" love until the time is right. Lord, help me to act more accordingly and appropriately when I am with guys specially a guy that I like. Lord, I may have lost him already but I have learned my lessons so next time around, I will know what to do.

Lord, just take good care of him. Just bless him in everything he does and every endeavor he makes. He is a good man, a good person and lucky is the girl that he would like, love and eventually marry. Lord, I honestly wish I were her but it is impossible now. Lord, I am hurting right now, really I am but by Your mercy and grace, I will be okay. I will be fine. I will have a bright tomorrow. Lord, ours was a short time but during those times, I really lost my balance but I felt happy too. Yet, Lord I must let go now. I will let go of my dreams, of everything, I will surrender. Father, thank You so much and may my hour of sadness become a blessing in disguise for me. Father, thanks a lot. I surrender to You my broken heart. Amen.

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