Letting Go

Dear Lord,

Lord, I finally let him go last night. Lord, I destroyed again my TNT sim card just for me not to be able to talk to him nor to wait for him to talk to me ever again. I felt humiliated already, my pride has been trampled on again. That's why I had to really let go.

I cannot undo what has been done. No matter how much I wanted him to be interested with me again, I couldn't anymore. Maybe because I gave him the wrong signals. Or probably I gave the signals way too early for him to handle.

Lord, now I know my mistakes already. But I am not going to be remorseful about it nor about him anymore. I will just go on with my life, continue what I have been doing even before he came into it. I will just improve myself and be the best person that I am. I learned so much lesson in just a short period of time.

Lord, just help me as I go through this quite painful process. Lord, it is raining again. It was like I was given days to get to be with him and to let him see an overview of myself. Lord, I wish I had been more natural with him. I wish I had been more of myself with him. That I did not let my emotions overcome me and rule all the time that we were still communicating. Lord, thank You for You gave me days of fine weather just to spend time with him. And now that he is gone already, rainy days are back again.

Lord, everything happens for a reason. There's a because in every why. I have started to already figure out why we met in the first place. Our meeting has made me realize and see some things that were so wrong with me and my thinking. That I had a pattern with men that's why I am not yet in a relationship right now. Lord, You are transforming me still and changing me from glory to glory.

Lord, I am sad. Really. Not because I lost a good prospect but probably a good friend. Maybe someday we could be friends again but for now, I will choose not to remember him anymore nor even think about him. I will get on with my life. I must admit that I am already scared to take the risk of falling in love again. Of letting someone into my life and heart. Lord, please take away this fear and give me courage to be able to accept people and open doors for them into my life and my heart. Let not be this painful experience become a hindrance for me to love again. And just again.

Lord, You are the only One who knows the future. Lord, I must admit that I am hoping for the future that we would be given the chance to start all over again and that time around, things would finally work out between the two of us. Yet, I am not clinging to that hope. I am clinging to my hope in You.

Father, thank You so much. Thank You for being there and for cushioning my life with good and caring friends. I am thankful Father for their lives as they help me and lift my spirit up now that I am so down. Thanks a lot Father for them.

I will return to my old routines. I will get back to my undone businesses. I lost my balance but thank You Father for Your grace and mercy that I am able to retrieve it back again. Thank You so much Lord.

Father God, help me to understand Your Words this morning. May I become a blessing to others again in Jesus' name amen.