November 13, 2011

Dear God,

Lord, I am not really feeling well now.

Lord, I have realized that I still really have hang-ups as regards my acceptance of other people in my life. Lord, I am having some issues in my life, unresolved conflicts that stemmed out from my childhood, when my father left and I had this feeling of abandonment. Now, Lord I am afraid to become close to members of the opposite sex when it comes to intimate relationship. Now, I know the reason why I still don't have any intimate relationship with me. I tend to push them away because I just wanted to feel that they would run after me. That they would take time to get me and then when they do, I would still run away.It would be like a game, a game of hide and seek. And when they found me I would try to run and hide deeper until they would get tired to run after me.

Lord, I am just afraid to be abandoned again. To be left alone again and suffer any pain or discomfort. I don't want to be hurt anymore, to expect attention and even love from someone and then lose it again.

Lord, I am asking from You that You please heal my heart. I am really in pain right now. Lord, I know that You are the God of second chances. Let me have the chance to love and really love someone. And to be loved as well. Someone who would take time to run after me and this time, I am not letting go. Just give me the chance Father. To fully let go of my hang-ups, of this feeling of abandonment, of isolation. Let me accept help and love from others. Let me also receive love as I give it also.

Lord, I will have faith in You. I will let go of what has to be let gone. I will trust in Your orchestrations, I will trust in whatever You will do and Your movements. You know better than I. I will let go of everything and i will just trust in You. I will live in quiet peace knowing that You know and see my situation. Thank You Father for You are there.

Thank You so much.