Change Me

Dear Lord,

Lord, I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what I did to my father, for my words and actions.

Lord, please, I have the tendency to become a nagger which is a very bad characteristic for a Christian woman. Lord, no one wants to live with a quarrelsome woman, let alone a nagging one. Father, change me. Transform my heart.

This will all go down to my tendency to have a sense of control specially towards men. Lord, help me in this. I want to go to a counseling on this area of my life for I don't want to bring this bad behavior in my marriage in the future. Father, help me. I am so ashamed of my behavior.

I am already starting to think about this because of what happened last night and the possibilities of the future. Lord, I want to bring into my marriage a woman who is all complete, who is all wise and who is so beautiful and pure inside. A woman worthy of my future husband. Lord, change my ways. Lord, help me to become more submissive and to be more humble specially when it comes to my future husband.

Lord, I am so sorry. Really I am. For being so disrespectful, for being like a holier-than-thou. Change me, Father. I am begging You. Even my brothers do not like this bad behavior of mine. Father, help me Lord specially when I am angry to control my anger, to just zip my lips and to divert my attention to other things. Lord, I don't know what I have in the future, what is in store for me but only You knows everything.

Father, help me not to be overcome by my emotions. I am such an emotional person, please Lord help me to turn this into positive not negative. Something that will help me not harm me.

I still have yet to learn many things about myself and things to change about me. I am not yet ready for marriage for I don't want to bring my "excesses" with me when I am with that wonderful person.

Lord, just show him to me. Guide me as we zero in each other's paths. Show me Father who that person is and help me not to be so bothered by my emotions. I have this particular guy right now and You know him. You know how much chaos his presence in my life has caused me. He has no fault in this, only me. Help me not to be overcome by how I feel. My feelings are deceitful, just some uncanny workings inside my hypothalamus. Father, help me to think and act objectively.

Lord, I am passing through this stage for You are indeed "purifying" me. You are transforming form glory to glory. Lord, I am not going to hide anymore nor run away from my problems though I am tempted to. I will just hold on tight to You and will seek Your will, in Jesus' name.

Lord, by the way, may I ask what is Your will for me? Lord, may I humbly and boldly ask, without the histrionics of my emotions if that guy is the right one for me? Or am I just blind-sided by my emotions? Lord, what do You have to say on this?

Reveal to me, Father. I ask from You, amen.