Dear Lord,
Lord, I gave in to lust again last night. Father, You know what? Sometimes I have this feeling that I am being left out already.You are leaving me out.
Most of my friends they have an improving love life while me? None. Zero. Nada. I am asking myself what is wrong with me? I know I am not ugly but nothing happens. Nothing. This makes me so sad and inside feeling unwanted.
Lord, I also want to have a family of my own. Is it hard to give? Sometimes I have this feeling that You don't care for me at all, You enjoy torturing me and You just want me to suffer. I am so sorry that I am telling You all of these for they are really how I feel.
I don't know. I don't really know.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT-
I am sorry for my words. Yet, I guess You would not have me say them in any other way. You just want me to be honest with how I feel. Father, Your thoughts, Your plans are way so different and far from what I could possibly imagine nor plan for myself. Just help me as I realize them. I cannot do them all alone. Forgive me if I tried to quench my sadness and fear by excessive eating and by giving in to imagining sexual thoughts and gratifying myself. I am sorry.
Just lead me Lord. Lead me.
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