Bounded by Lust

Lord, I am sorry. You know fully well the reason why I said yes to him in the first place. I was bounded by lust and until now I am.

Father, that man really loves me. But I must admit that I do not love him that much. Somehow I pity him. Father, do I break up with him or will I be sorry for the rest of my life?

Yet, I do not want to lose him. I do not want to be far from him. He is really a good man, very kind and loving to me. Lord, he deserves someone better. He deserves someone who can love him back in the same kind of love he gives.

Am I that person? Father, I am sorry. I have been committing sin towards You and him. I have been having all the dirtiest and most evil intentions for him while he has the purest of motives for me. He loves me and he has been so patient with me.

Father, I am ambitious. I want to go greater heights. You know it. You know that I have always wanted to marry someone with a higher stature in life, someone who is excellent and someone who can propel me to move forward. With him, I am contented to be just like this because deep inside me, I know I might just leave him behind.

Father, am I to break free from him? Marriage is a lifetime commitment and there's no turning back. My relationship with him is not my ideal one. Honestly, I am just forced to continue moving ahead because there's no turning back. Lord, I want to go higher, I want to achieve something bigger and I want to live fuller.

Lord, help me. He is having some financial problems, I know that. Being with me is quite expensive. Father, we are having a hard time being together because we don't have much resources. But we need to connect. I need to connect with him as he does with me.

Father, what is this? Forgive me. Let not lust nor unholy desires and passion consume me. Help me to just love and accept this man as he is. Help me to just let him enter my life in ways that will not make him feel less of a person.

Father, please correct my mind and my heart. Please. Please. Help me. I need Your help now. Thank You. Amen.