July 20, 2012

Dear Lord,

I am not feeling well now. I am hurt so much by the words of my own mother. She actually cursed my own children. My future children.
Lord, if I spoke my words, if I have become so open about my feelings and if it hurt them I am sorry. But I guess Father there was nothing wrong with what I said. I only expressed what am seeing.
You know fully well the situation. You know fully well. Father, I am afraid now. I am afraid for my own children. They might inherit my brother's situation.
Yet, You said to me that You would bless the next generation. Father, my mother said that if all Christians were like me then probably I would be the last. Father, I know You never give up on us, You do things to snatch us away from our enemy but only if we are willing. You are always there waiting only if our hearts are returning to You. Lord, I see that he is not willing to be helped. He basks in his pathetic situation and probably uses his condition so that others will adjust to his maladaptive behavior.
Father, please forgive me. If there was anything wrong that I said or maybe how I said them, please forgive me. I will trust in You. Thank You for You made me this way. And Lord, may You also help him. Yes Lord, You are reminding me to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. Yes, I will just pray, I will just lift up to You the situation.
Lord, I lift up to You my future children. You know them already. Please Lord, I pray that You kindly bless them and love them. I know You love them more than I do. Please Lord, take good care of them.
As regards my brother, just  help him Father. Even if he hates You right now. Even if he blames You. May he see the mistakes that he did and learn to trust You more.
As regards my mother, help me Lord to forgive her. To love her just the same. It is quite difficult to love her now but make me love her even more. I am just sad I am not loved by her the way I wanted to but then You are loving me more. That's why You created me like this and I am blessed in so many ways.
Father, forgive me for my arrogance and for my pride. Forgive me if I hurt other people. Forgive me.
Father, I lift up to You my future family. Bless us. Bless my future husband and our future children. Thank You Father God. Amen.